Here We Go Again!

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Yes that's right we are having another baby! Estimated due date at this stage is April 22nd. I know it's super early to be mentioning it (I'm about 5 weeks pregnant), but I had forgotten how nerve wracking and totally scary pregnancy can be.

I need some support. Want to be my cheer squad?

I'm pooping my pants that something will go wrong. Constantly worrying when I go to the toilet, every twinge/pain/cramp/spasm, I'm a ball of nerves.

Which is silly, I know. It's up to God/the universe/mother nature/whatever to decide. I really have no control.

Which is maybe why I'm struggling? The whole 'have no control' feeling. Typical worrier I am I can't stop with the 'what ifs'.

It took us about 6 cycles to fall with Malachi, and now, after not even actively trying to conceive (we were just taking it easy, letting the universe decide when would be the right time to have another baby) we are pregnant again.

Surely it can't be that easy? Have I been 'good' enough to deserve another baby? If I be the best Mum I can be to Master M, does that mean I get to have another baby?

I might be a ball of nerves, but for the moment I am pregnant and over the moon ♥

PS: If we are facebook friends *cough Loz* please don't mention anything on there. We are keeping things hush hush until at least a dating scan ♥

Get off your high horse

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I'm back and ready to vent blog.

I have a question, and it's a question I've been wanting answered for so long, so care to help me?

Why do Mother's judge each other?

Why do we feel the need to pick, and criticise and judge what another Mum is doing with her child/ren?

I belong to a facebook group. I'm pretty sure we're all ladies, all mother's. We have a common interest, and that interest is cloth nappies.

A lady asked what's so bad about the Save our sleep (SOS) book/routine.

Now I understand most of these ladies on the page are into cloth nappies, Baltic amber, co sleeping, baby wearing etc etc.

But their comments; mainly directed at me as we used her times as a guide, and used her self settling methods were disgusting.

Here are a few pearlers:

* Babies starve on SOS as the Mum's don't feed the baby when they are hungry.

* I feel so sorry for babies who's Mum's use SOS. They are missing out on so many cuddles.
I just don't get it. Why does MY babies life involve you?

Why do you think that because we have a routine that I no longer have a brain and don't know when my son is hungry? Surely him doubling his birth weight by 3 months is a good indication that he wasn't ever left hungry.

While I do think some of the reasoning and logic in SOS isn't for me, I would never ever say anything to a parent about that.

It shits me up the wall this constant...... comparison? Competition?

Why don't we support and encourage instead of belittling and supporting others?

Parenting a Toddler

The little guy is one in less then two weeks (EEKK!!) and can I just say.... this parenting a toddler busy is tough work.

Hubby has been away for 2 days for work.

The other night was a super long day. Malachi had been awake since 130pm.

Had dinner at 530pm. Became hysterical when I tried to tell him he has one spoon and Mummy has one spoon. Sobbing, gasping for air, tears rolling down his face etc. Got him out of his highchair, calmed him down. Put him back in his highchair where he decided to smear food everywhere, or just drop it on the floor.

Went upstairs to run his bath. I could hear him whinging downstairs so was taking my sweet ass time.

Came downstairs and saw him CRAWLING on our table. Yep, that's right. I didn't strap him in so he managed to wiggle his butt out of the highchair.

Soooooo lucky he didn't smash anything or fall off the table onto the tiles!

I'm trying to teach him that there are things he can do, and things he can't do.
The only problem is, he's not too keen on being told what to do.

Yesterday was a prime example.

* Pulls my hair *

Me: No Malachi, we don't pull Mummy's hair. That really hurts Mummy. We be gentle to each other.

Malachi: Bursts into tears and sobs hysterically.

Me: Picks him up and comforts him.

Malachi: Starts to pull hair again. Sigh.

And the other thing I'm struggling with.... the chaos a toddler creates.

I feel like all I do all day is try and keep the house somewhat tidy, just to have him come through and mess it all up again. I do not like vacuuming twice in one day!

I know we don't have the cleanest, tidiest house in the street. But I like a house of order. And I'm really struggling to keep on top of it all.

So I would love some parenting tips from those Mummas who have toddlers!

Emotionally spent

I was going to find a super fantastic photo to put at the top of my post but I couldn't be bothered.

So just pretend there's something fancy schmancy here.

Yep. I know.

Super slack blogger here.

The truth is I just have nothing to say.

I am exhausted. Just mentally exhausted.

I hate drama.

My family are all about the drama.

To cute a super long story short.

My 16 year old sister is pregnant again. She'll have two babies 16 months apart.


She's not with the druggo boyfriend anymore at least that's what they tell me. No, I'm pretty sure he slept with my 21 year old alcoholic sister no I'm not making this up.


Mum rang to tell me my sister was pregnant again. I was angry okay angry is an understatement.

My sister's excuse? She's never been on the pill so that's how she fell pregnant. Grow the feck up.


I think it probably annoyed the shit out of me more as I would lurve another baby. Yep, can't believe I'm saying that. Mrs I want-a-massive-age-gap-can't-deal-with-the-newborn-sleep-deprivation-again-anytime-soon.

But you know what. I'm an adult. And just because I want something doesn't mean I get it. We have a mortgage, and bills to pay, and all that other grown up stuff so for the moment having another baby is not on the cards.

I'm back to work Saturday butterflies much. But that's a post for another day.

So forgive my absence while I wallow in hurt/anger/disappointment/bitterness.

Rainbows everywhere

I called my manager yesterday to arrange a time to go in and see him about returning to work.

He was less then friendly and quite rude to be honest.

*sigh* As if I wasn't anxious enough already about returning after a year off.

So I've been looking at Etsy for gorgeous little goodies to brighten my day.

I think Etsy should come with a warning "Beware, highly addictive. You will waste many a hour searching this site".

Anyway, I digress.

Look at all these pretties!

Mmim's Store

Kawaii4U's store

nms2523's shop

DelightfulEpiphany's Shop

Lisaghove's store

Aren't they gorgeous!

If I hadn't of spent so much money on cloth nappies that Malachi doesn't really need this week I'd be very tempted to get a few things.

What do you do when you're feeling down?

Surf the web?

Buy cloth nappies?

Eat chocolate?

Hat trick fail

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Maybe this is how you get a baby to sleep through the night?
Just put them in a sink?

Malachi has always been an okay sleeper. He wasn't one of those babies who woke every hour for a feed as a freshie thank God. But he's never consistently slept through the night. I could count on three fingers one hand the number of times he's slept through.

I thought we were on to a winner. The beginning of continuous sleep thrus. He slept through after we went out for dinner Saturday night, and then he followed it up with another sleep through Sunday night. He was waking earlier though, but I thought that was a good compromise seeing as though I just got an 8 hour block of sleep.

With baited breath we went to bed last night, hoping and praying he'd sleep through again.... and of course he didn't.

It was worse then usual.

Normally, he'll wake for a feed once overnight and be back asleep in a matter of moments. I'd probably only be away 30 minutes max. Last night, oh last night he thought being awake for two fecking hours would be a good idea. We changed him, I offered more milk, I rocked him, I layed him on my chest. But he was just intent on piss farting around, squirmy and playing with the clasp on my maternity singlet.

GAAAHHHHH babies are so frustrating  adorably unpredictable. Even now the young one is fighting his second day sleep, you know, just to mix it up a little.

Babies, gotta love them.

The W word

Yes yes, I'm talking about THE wedding. You know, the little one that happened on Friday (local time).

Now I know you're probably like me and a little sick of it, but bare with me. I have had visitors for the last 10 days so need to indulge in a little bit of wedding talk.

I'm sorry to say I was not at home watching the wedding like the 2 billion people around the world, I instead was out enjoying a baby free dinner with a girlfriend (the first EVER baby free dinner since Malachi's birth).

I did, however catch most of the wedding on the news the day after the big event and Miss Kate or should I call her the dutchess of Cambridge? looked beautiful. That Tiara old Queeny leant her for the day WOW WOW WOW.

I also love how they still managed to have some intimacy and privacy even with the whole world watching. Little glances at each other, Harry cute little Harry telling William that Kate had arrived and looked gorgeous, and who could forget not one but two kisses on the balcony.

Anyway, this blog post had a point, and that point was to share some wedding pictures from my wedding day just over two years ago.

Back of the dress

Best picture I could find of the whole dress

My gorgeous God daughter and I

Front of the dress

Hubby and I (and no I wasn't pregnant, he just ALWAYS puts his hand on my belly!)

Probably my favourite photo of the day

SHOES!

Hand in hand

Sneaky kisses

Trying to drop me on my head

The veil.

I could go on, but I don't want to bore you to tears. Though I would love to see your wedding day pictures as well.

All these photos are copyrighted by my photographer. I do not want to share too much information (like where abouts we got married) so I won't share her name.