Sunday, May 13, 2012

Bringing Alexander Earthside

Alexander’s Birth Story
I woke up at the usual time of 7am thanks to our ever dependable alarm clock Malachi. For some reason I had always thought we would have an ANZAC day baby, but not wanting to get my hopes up I went about my morning as usual.

Craig got up and took Malachi downstairs while I ‘slept in’ for 10 minutes. I went and had a shower (and washed my hair just in case we were to have a baby!) before heading downstairs for some breakfast. While having breakfast I noticed that I was getting some mild period type pain and back pain with the occasional contraction. Not wanting to freak anyone out I tried to ignore them and just breathe through them.
I went upstairs and had a lay down. Craig came in & I told him I thought we might have a baby today. He got Malachi ready to go out with Ma and Pop and then left me to rest on our bed. I was texting my friend Jade at this stage, asking if it was possible to have contractions 3 minutes apart from the start! I started timing the contractions and they were irregular, coming in every 3-7 minutes and lasting only 45 seconds. I was using some birth skills I had read about in Juju Sundin’s “Birth Skills” book. I was breathing through the pain, chanting in my head ‘healthy pain, cervix open’ and rubbing my foot on the sheets trying to distract myself. Thinking I was still in early labour I was starting to freak out a little bit. The pain was so intense and in my head I was begging for an epidural already!

Craig came in at this point & asked if I wanted my tens machine hooked up. Willing to try anything I agreed. I had used a TENS machine in my labour with Malachi & loved it, but this time it just annoyed me. I rang the birth suite at this time to let them know what was going on. The midwife suggested since I had only been in labour for 2 hours to have a shower or try a wheat pack and to give her a call back in a few hours. She did of course say I could go in already, but not wanting to be disappointed by lack of progress I chose to stay home and try another shower.

I quickly ditched the TENS machine, jumped in the shower and started swaying with the pain. It was a pretty cold day on ANZAC day and not wanting to waste hot water!! I didn’t stay in the shower that long.
When I got out things revved up A LOT! I was crying for Malachi. I just wanted him home, close to me for some snuggles. Craig started massaging my back at this point, trying to convince me to put some clothes on and get dry. I was pretty comfortable though, just leaning over the sink, crying for my little boy. I did eventually listen to him and put on a singlet and a pair of his pj pants. I went back to bed, laying on my left hand side. He went and got Malachi’s little Cadbury monkey that he sleeps with for me to snuggle with and sniff.

For some reason I just couldn’t get comfortable. I had the urge to go to the toilet so off I waddled. I don’t know how some people can think sitting on the toilet in labour is comfortable, it was absolute agony for me. Back to bed I hobbled, again laying down and rubbing my foot on the sheets. I got another massive urge to go to the bathroom so off I went. On my way there I told Craig I had massive bottom pressure (cue freak out from Craig as this is what happened right before I had the urge to push with Malachi!)

He got my phone and I was crying through a contraction while trying to unlock my smart phone. He did manage to get birth suites number out of my phone, but couldn’t figure out how to dial a number using my phone so had to race downstairs to get our home phone. While he was on the phone to the midwife I saw a drop of blood fall on my undies. Then all of a sudden my waters broke (into the toilet, which was very convenient!) and I could feel Alexander’s head. The midwife must have asked Craig if he could see the head, as he had a look down there and said ‘yep, there is something there’. He started racing around pulling out old towels and a ‘kylie’ I had stolen from the hospital after we had had Malachi.

I was freaking out at this point, not because we couldn’t make it to hospital, but because Craig would have to deliver the baby himself. He won’t even watch RPA on tv with me, let alone deliver his own son. “Oh my god I can feel the head, I need to push” was uttered many times while he was on the phone. The midwife, had already phoned an ambulance, and lucky for us they are only 5 minutes from our house. The only problem was, our front door was locked. Craig wanted to go downstairs and unlock the door but I was freaking out and wouldn’t let him. Once the contraction passed Craig made a mad dash downstairs to unlock the door and let the paramedics Matt and Marty in.

Matt and Marty introduced themselves and tried to convince me to leave the ensuite and get on our bedroom floor. It took a lot of convincing but I eventually agreed. I knelt on the ‘kylie’ leaning over the end of the bed. I think my body was holding back, waiting for the ambulance drivers to arrive because as soon as they did I just relaxed and listened to my body. Poor Matt copped the wrath of my pain! He had his hand down there doing whatever he had to do, when I told him he was frustrating me and to move his hand! He did explain he had to do it, but at the time geez it was annoying.

I had a massive urge to push, so push I did. It only took about 4 pushes and his head was out. Matt kept asking if I needed to push his shoulders out but I didn’t so I just knelt there, waiting for that primal urge to overtake me again. I kept asking if the baby was okay, even though I knew he was, as I could hear him making these gorgeous little noises. With the next urge his shoulders were out and the next push his whole body was born. There he lay, my gorgeous little boy in all his slimy goodness. Craig quickly got all our pillows off the bed so I could lie down and bring Alexander onto my chest for skin to skin time. I didn’t realise I still had my brand new bonds singlet on so that got covered in goop before I ditched it and lay down, getting to know my newest son.

It felt like forever, but eventually the placenta was birthed as well. Matt was fantastic, and even delayed the cord clamping and cutting for us. Proud Daddy got to cut the cord and then have some cuddles with his son while I got back in the shower to wash off. I got dressed and tried to tidy up my bathroom a little bit before walking downstairs and getting in the ambulance with Alexander. On the trip to hospital he had his first breastfeed.

We were taking to birth suite to be checked over. The midwife gave me the good news that my perineum was intact! I did have to have a syntocinin injection in my leg to help slow down the blood loss and wow that stung. I told the midwife that hurt more than my perineum. In waltzed a junior doctor who declared I needed bloods taken and a cannula injected. To say I was impressed is an understatement. In my head I was thinking “Ummm I just birthed my baby at home, I don’t need your medical interventions!” I did ask if it was necessary and he kind of bumbled his way through an answer. I did reluctantly agree, though I did tell him he wasn’t putting a cannula in my hand, he could put it in my cubital fossa. I don’t think he liked me bossing him around.

I remember after the birth of Malachi I was nauseated and shaking from head to toe and the same happened with this birth. Lucky for me I had the cannula in, so a dose of maxalon was all I needed to help me feel better. I had another shower in birth suite while Alexander was weighed, measured and had his vitamin K injection. I tried to have a little sleep in birth suite (though that is hard with labouring women all around you and an annoying cannula in your arm) before we were taken to the ward. I was really looked after this hospital stay, with my very own room, complete with double bed!
I only stayed the one night as I felt fantastic and wanted to get home to my family. I was up showered and dressed ready to go home at 550am, though Craig didn’t come and get me until mid afternoon, much to my disappointment.

Everything is going well at home. Malachi is being a fantastic big brother and is so in love with Alexander.
I feel so blessed to have two beautiful sons and couldn’t imagine life any other way.

BORN: 25th April 10.43am

WEIGHT: 3.86kgs

LENGTH: 50cms

HEAD CIRC: 36cms

APGARS: 9 at 1 min, 9 at 5mins

A few hours old

Chilling at home in the swing

Going out for dinner as a family of 4


Monday, May 7, 2012

The slackest blogger of them all

Yes I know my last post was WAY back in October. And yes, I know, no one really reads my blog anymore. But I just wanted to come back & say our 2nd little son has arrived!

Alexander Thomas arrived on Anzac day at 10.43am. He weighed in at a healthy 3.86kgs! He also managed to catch Mummy and Daddy off guard and arrived at home (with the help of some paramedics).

He is settling in at home nicely & has the best big brother ever. Malachi has been so lovely with him. It really melts my heart to see them both together.

I feel so incredibly blessed.


Monday, October 17, 2011

What have we got here?

Baby "Yufi" 12 weeks and 2 days old.
Just chillaxing while sucking his/her thumb.

I'm here and still alive. I have been struggling a lot lately with depression and anxiety and general 'feel like shit'-ness.

I've been worried a lot about this baby, how I'll cope with two when we're so far away from family, how will we fit in our tiny townhouse, how I wish I worked more (There I go, I said it out 'loud') etc etc.

I went to my GP and spoke about going on a low dose antidepressant (yep, I feel guilty about that too).
At this stage I'm going to see a psychologist and try some cognitive behaviour therapy and see if I can manage with just that.

The husband and I have also had some long (and heated) discussions about moving back 'home'. He totally hates the idea (I don't think hate is a strong enough word) so we're thinking maybe Brissy/Sunshine Coast/Gold Coast might be the answer. Close to family, well 2 hours away which is closer than 20+ hours away.

I'm hoping we can find some solutions to my current issues, but in the meantime I guess I'll just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming .......

Monday, August 22, 2011

Here We Go Again!

Yes that's right we are having another baby! Estimated due date at this stage is April 22nd. I know it's super early to be mentioning it (I'm about 5 weeks pregnant), but I had forgotten how nerve wracking and totally scary pregnancy can be.

I need some support. Want to be my cheer squad?

I'm pooping my pants that something will go wrong. Constantly worrying when I go to the toilet, every twinge/pain/cramp/spasm, I'm a ball of nerves.

Which is silly, I know. It's up to God/the universe/mother nature/whatever to decide. I really have no control.

Which is maybe why I'm struggling? The whole 'have no control' feeling. Typical worrier I am I can't stop with the 'what ifs'.

It took us about 6 cycles to fall with Malachi, and now, after not even actively trying to conceive (we were just taking it easy, letting the universe decide when would be the right time to have another baby) we are pregnant again.

Surely it can't be that easy? Have I been 'good' enough to deserve another baby? If I be the best Mum I can be to Master M, does that mean I get to have another baby?

I might be a ball of nerves, but for the moment I am pregnant and over the moon ♥

PS: If we are facebook friends *cough Loz* please don't mention anything on there. We are keeping things hush hush until at least a dating scan ♥


Friday, August 5, 2011

Get off your high horse

I'm back and ready to vent blog.

I have a question, and it's a question I've been wanting answered for so long, so care to help me?

Why do Mother's judge each other?

Why do we feel the need to pick, and criticise and judge what another Mum is doing with her child/ren?

I belong to a facebook group. I'm pretty sure we're all ladies, all mother's. We have a common interest, and that interest is cloth nappies.

A lady asked what's so bad about the Save our sleep (SOS) book/routine.

Now I understand most of these ladies on the page are into cloth nappies, Baltic amber, co sleeping, baby wearing etc etc.

But their comments; mainly directed at me as we used her times as a guide, and used her self settling methods were disgusting.

Here are a few pearlers:

* Babies starve on SOS as the Mum's don't feed the baby when they are hungry.

* I feel so sorry for babies who's Mum's use SOS. They are missing out on so many cuddles.
I just don't get it. Why does MY babies life involve you?

Why do you think that because we have a routine that I no longer have a brain and don't know when my son is hungry? Surely him doubling his birth weight by 3 months is a good indication that he wasn't ever left hungry.

While I do think some of the reasoning and logic in SOS isn't for me, I would never ever say anything to a parent about that.

It shits me up the wall this constant...... comparison? Competition?

Why don't we support and encourage instead of belittling and supporting others?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Parenting a Toddler

The little guy is one in less then two weeks (EEKK!!) and can I just say.... this parenting a toddler busy is tough work.

Hubby has been away for 2 days for work.

The other night was a super long day. Malachi had been awake since 130pm.

Had dinner at 530pm. Became hysterical when I tried to tell him he has one spoon and Mummy has one spoon. Sobbing, gasping for air, tears rolling down his face etc. Got him out of his highchair, calmed him down. Put him back in his highchair where he decided to smear food everywhere, or just drop it on the floor.

Went upstairs to run his bath. I could hear him whinging downstairs so was taking my sweet ass time.

Came downstairs and saw him CRAWLING on our table. Yep, that's right. I didn't strap him in so he managed to wiggle his butt out of the highchair.

Soooooo lucky he didn't smash anything or fall off the table onto the tiles!

I'm trying to teach him that there are things he can do, and things he can't do.
The only problem is, he's not too keen on being told what to do.

Yesterday was a prime example.

* Pulls my hair *

Me: No Malachi, we don't pull Mummy's hair. That really hurts Mummy. We be gentle to each other.

Malachi: Bursts into tears and sobs hysterically.

Me: Picks him up and comforts him.

Malachi: Starts to pull hair again. Sigh.

And the other thing I'm struggling with.... the chaos a toddler creates.

I feel like all I do all day is try and keep the house somewhat tidy, just to have him come through and mess it all up again. I do not like vacuuming twice in one day!

I know we don't have the cleanest, tidiest house in the street. But I like a house of order. And I'm really struggling to keep on top of it all.

So I would love some parenting tips from those Mummas who have toddlers!


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Emotionally spent

I was going to find a super fantastic photo to put at the top of my post but I couldn't be bothered.
So just pretend there's something fancy schmancy here.
Yep. I know.

Super slack blogger here.

The truth is I just have nothing to say.

I am exhausted. Just mentally exhausted.

I hate drama.

My family are all about the drama.

To cute a super long story short.

My 16 year old sister is pregnant again. She'll have two babies 16 months apart.

She's not with the druggo boyfriend anymore at least that's what they tell me. No, I'm pretty sure he slept with my 21 year old alcoholic sister no I'm not making this up.

Mum rang to tell me my sister was pregnant again. I was angry okay angry is an understatement.

My sister's excuse? She's never been on the pill so that's how she fell pregnant. Grow the feck up.

I think it probably annoyed the shit out of me more as I would lurve another baby. Yep, can't believe I'm saying that. Mrs I want-a-massive-age-gap-can't-deal-with-the-newborn-sleep-deprivation-again-anytime-soon.

But you know what. I'm an adult. And just because I want something doesn't mean I get it. We have a mortgage, and bills to pay, and all that other grown up stuff so for the moment having another baby is not on the cards.

I'm back to work Saturday butterflies much. But that's a post for another day.

So forgive my absence while I wallow in hurt/anger/disappointment/bitterness.