Parenting a Toddler

The little guy is one in less then two weeks (EEKK!!) and can I just say.... this parenting a toddler busy is tough work.

Hubby has been away for 2 days for work.

The other night was a super long day. Malachi had been awake since 130pm.

Had dinner at 530pm. Became hysterical when I tried to tell him he has one spoon and Mummy has one spoon. Sobbing, gasping for air, tears rolling down his face etc. Got him out of his highchair, calmed him down. Put him back in his highchair where he decided to smear food everywhere, or just drop it on the floor.

Went upstairs to run his bath. I could hear him whinging downstairs so was taking my sweet ass time.

Came downstairs and saw him CRAWLING on our table. Yep, that's right. I didn't strap him in so he managed to wiggle his butt out of the highchair.

Soooooo lucky he didn't smash anything or fall off the table onto the tiles!

I'm trying to teach him that there are things he can do, and things he can't do.
The only problem is, he's not too keen on being told what to do.

Yesterday was a prime example.

* Pulls my hair *

Me: No Malachi, we don't pull Mummy's hair. That really hurts Mummy. We be gentle to each other.

Malachi: Bursts into tears and sobs hysterically.

Me: Picks him up and comforts him.

Malachi: Starts to pull hair again. Sigh.

And the other thing I'm struggling with.... the chaos a toddler creates.

I feel like all I do all day is try and keep the house somewhat tidy, just to have him come through and mess it all up again. I do not like vacuuming twice in one day!

I know we don't have the cleanest, tidiest house in the street. But I like a house of order. And I'm really struggling to keep on top of it all.

So I would love some parenting tips from those Mummas who have toddlers!

A Mumma doubts herself

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Malachi has really slimmed down lately. He was 3.4kgs at birth and doubled his birth weight by 3 months.

Now he's almost 10 months and just under 9kgs (rough guess-timate I just put him on our crappy bathroom scales). I think he looks healthy but Hubby's making me doubt myself. He thinks he's really ...slim. Slim arms, skinny legs, little belly.

Malachi has 3 breastfeeds during the day and the last milk feed at night I've either been giving him breastmilk and then a formula top up, or just formula.

Last night I just gave him formula after the little pain bit me. He had dinner at 5pm, milk at 7pm and he only drank 100mls (he last had milk at 1pm). I know I cant force feed it down his throat, and he's weeing and pooing okay just what you wanted to hear right.

Hubby is somewhat suggesting that my breastmilk is dodgy and we should just switch to full time formula but I know that if I 'gave up' now while I still have milk available I would feel guilty.

GAH don't know what to do. Are we destined as parent's to always second guess and judge ourselves? I don't know what the 'right' thing to do is.

Have you had a milky's dilemma? Any advice to offer?

And the judgements continue

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I forget which one of my favourite bloggers was speaking about something similar the other day.....

Anyway.

A recent debate about vaginal births and c sections has gotten me thinking, why aren't we happy unless we are judging or criticising or putting someone down?

It feels to me like if you say ' I had a drug free vaginal birth' it's in some way something smug to say. Is it not just speaking the truth? Can we not be happy for this person, if they achieved the birth they wanted?

If someone said ' I had a c section' are we quick to judge that Mum and perhaps think 'they took the easy way out' or 'they were too posh to push'. Why do we not just think that she made the right decision for her and her baby?

It just seems like whenever the word children is mentioned, whether it be in regards to birthing said child, feeding the child, disciplining the child there is never a moment when you are not judged.

Have you felt the judgement of others recently?

Not so fab Friday

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What a week. It seems to have been one long day after day after day of the wee one whinging and grumbling and moaning.

Put him on the floor, he rolls onto his belly and cries. Roll him back onto his back, he rolls onto his belly and cries.

Put him in the bouncer.... yep you guessed it, cry. The bouncer used to be one of his favourite little thing when he was a wee one. Not anymore. He just tries to do sit ups in the bouncer. Might be time to put this one in Harry's cupboard until we have another baby.

Activity centre? You've got to be kidding!! He chucks a little tanty and throws himself around in the seat.

This Mumma is tired. I feel like I'm a piece of string being stretched in all directions.

AM... ABOUT... TO... SNAP!!

I always knew patience wasn't my strong point. I don't know whether it's because it's been raining like crazy this week and we've been cooped up inside, or whether it's just time for some baby free time. But the constant moaning and grumbling by the little one is grating on my nerves BIG TIME.

The husband has decided tomorrow he'll take the baby for the morning. So I'm booked in for a hair colour and cut... and I might ever squeeze in some eyebrow waxing. Oh and I'm off to pick up my new iphone.

I'm so looking forward to it. Oh that and putting up the Christmas tree. Come back next week for my entry in Bubby Makes Three's Show it like it is challenge :-)

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

Cloth Nappying

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I have been persevering with Huggies disposables for a while now, but in all honesty I hate them. They don't sit on the little man properly. The grip tab bits sit right where his legs move so you can hear them slowly but surely coming undone and slipping down to expose his bum.

I wanted to try cloth when I was pregnant but there are so many varieties, brands, sizes, colours it all just freaked me out. I chickened out and went the disposable route.

Well not anymore. I did a bit of research and have decided to use the all in one cloth nappies, the non sized one so I don't have to continually up grade the sizes. The reason I'm looking at AIO's is less work for me, and I might have more luck convincing Hubby to go cloth this way.

He's been less than supportive of this, for God knows what reason. Every time I mention it he does this annoying laugh. So not funny. It's really grating on my nerves. He thinks they are expensive and a lot of work, and heaps of washing. I'm the one that does all the washing anyway. So an extra load every two days isn't going to kill me.

I did suggest if he's worried about the cost we could buy some second hand MCN's. There's a facebook page dedicated to buying and selling second hand cloth nappies. But no. Heaven forbid his son wears second hand nappies.


Okay Husband rant over................

A lovely friend Katherine suggested I give the dream dri version2 cloth nappies a go. They are on sale at the moment at Close Parent Down Under on facebook as they are trying to make room for their version3 nappies. I ordered 5 to try. I wanted 10 but the husband said no.

Fingers crossed I'm on to a winner and I can have a stash of cloth nappies for reasonably cheap.

A Very Special Remembrance Day

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Yesterday the 11th November at 8.34pm my 15 year old sister gave birth to my beautiful baby niece.

She weighed in at a massive 4.43kgs, 57cm long and 36 cm head circumference. The not so little beauty is yet to be named.

She laboured for 13 hours drug free before having an epidural and catching a few Z's. Then she was ready to bring her daughter into this world. And I'm proud. So very proud.

I have been struggling with how I felt about this situation ever since I found out my sister was pregnant. And I guess I still struggle to see my 15 year old sister as a Mother.

But labour and birthing is just the beginning of a long, beautiful, rewarding, difficult and sometimes stressful parenting journey.

Now I just pray that her and her 'boyfriend' (I say that lightly as I'm not sure how long he'll stick around for) step up to the plate and love, guide and cherish this baby girl.

Wishful Wednesday

I swear this is what the little tyke is thinking!

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What am I wishing for right now?

* The 17 week wonder week to bugger off. I was just getting used to sleeping a blissful three hours in a row. I am not liking the two hourly feeding that is going on in this little household at the moment. Apparently there's a 'sunny' week coming at 21 weeks. Don't think I can last another four weeks of two hourly night wakings. Thank God for Nescafe.

* To not be such a procrastinator. We have been umming and ahhing about whether or not to fly to QLD to celebrate Christmas up there. We'd pretty much decided we would be. Was just waiting for Hubby to stop piss farting around and come to the party. Anywho turns out flights are now going to cost us an extra $100 because we didn't book them a few days ago. NOT HAPPY JAN!!

* Wishing our backyard didn't smell like cow poo. We're constructing a vegie garden so we've added some poo to help enrich the soil. Pity it's not helping my sense of smell.

* Wishing our backyard didn't contain many bee loving plants. I am petrified of things that can sting so have been limiting my time outside. Which sucks as we've had a few gorgeous sunny days down here lately.

* For My Mother's pedophile supporting family members to piss off and stop trying to stalk me on facebook. WANKERS!!!! There's a reason I cut you from my life (and my son's life)

* Lusting after a blog makeover

* Sick of feeling like I have to do it all. Look after the baby, clean the house, make the dinner, do the dishes, load the dishwasher, put the dishes away, scrub the toilet, mop the floors. I didn't do it all when I was working full time so why do I have to do it all now?

Wishful thinking?? Probably.

In the meantime I can hear my massive mug of Nescafe and a choc chip cookie calling me.

You Again?

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It's back, in all it's ugliness.......... the anxiety.

I thought I was doing quite well, it's been three months since the birth of Malachi and not a hint of depression and or anxiety. But lately I haven't been sleeping well, and that's a tell tale sign for me. I've been lying awake in bed hours after the little tyke is fast asleep. I've been listening to him breathing and listening to my heart racing. I couldn't quite work out what it was that had set the demons loose. But then I realised.

My little babe has nearly outgrown his bassinet and because of that he'll be moving into his cot in his own room. I love hearing him breathing beside me, knowing he's okay. A midwife in one of our parenting classes said that a baby is safest when near their parents. And for some reason that has really stuck with me and I can't stop thinking about it. I was totally freaking out about having him in his own room where I couldn't see or hear him. Sure, we could get a monitor, but I can't shake that little fact the midwife said. Call me crazy but I couldn't live with myself if something was to happen to him while he's in his cot instead of next to me.

I've been so ashamed and embarassed to bring this up with Hubby. I feel like I've failed, like I'm slipping backwards. He was of course was fine with the whole thing, and suggested we move the cot into our room. But we love his room (even though it's not quite finished yet) so our compromise is that Malachi will sleep in a portacot in our room right beside me. I don't know how long this arrangement will last for. I'm sure he'll be in his own room by the time he's in preschool :-) But for now this works for us, and will hopefully help to lessen my anxiety.

Letter to Malachi - Three Months Old

A few days early, but thought I'd better write this letter while I have a spare five minutes.

Letter to Malachi - Three Months Old
Oh Baby boy look at how you've grown!! I can not believe three months ago you were still in my belly, about to be born. I feel like time is just flying by and I can not remember what my life was like without you in it.

You are an independent little being. You aren't that keen on being held or sitting on my lap. Which is sad. I remember when you were a squishy newborn and you'd lie on my chest, content to just be. These days you'd much rather lay on your play mat and bash poor Eddie (the Elephant) or swing your fists at Pup-squeak. You have started to grab on to things now, whether it's my fingers, or a toy. No matter what it is it ends up with slobber all over it. You new play thing is your hands and fingers. Whenever you get the chance you shove your hands in your mouth. I am constantly reminding you to be careful. You never listen to your Mumma and are always gagging as you attempt to put four fingers in your mouth, or even both fists at once.

You are such a delight. You have certainly found your voice and are more than happy to have conversations with us, even if it's 3 o'clock in the morning. When we stop paying attention to you you just talk louder or start your little 'look at me Mummy and Daddy' cough. You are a big flirt. It doesn't matter if it's a little girl baby or a Mumma you get your flirt on and charm them with your voice. You've also found a new love. Looking at yourself in the mirror. You love it when we stop in front of the mirror so you can smile and giggle at yourself.

You still love bath times with Mummy or Daddy. You love kicking and splashing about. I think you take after your Daddy and just love the water. You hold on to the bath support with your left hand (always the left) as you get pampered. You love having your hair washed and will happily lay there with your mouth open as we scrub your head.

You're still not too keen on tummy time. You are lasting for longer periods of time before you start to cry. You've managed to roll from your back to your side a few times, where you've just stopped, looked around, and decided it would be a good time to stick your fists in your mouth. You haven't quite mastered going from back to tummy or tummy to back, but I'm sure it won't be long before your rolling about and causing mischief.

You are so long and chubby now. You have nearly outgrown your bassinet and your 000 clothes! We are in the process of putting you in your big boy cot for day sleeps and when we get back from our QLD holidays you'll be in your cot at night. You are sleeping for longer periods during the night, which I'm so thankful for. You are still a boobies man and you are so efficient at feeding now. Gone are the half hour feeds, replaced by a quick 5 or 10 minute feed. We must be doing something right though. You've gone from a 3.4kg newborn to a 6.8kg 3 month old chubba bubba.

I am just so in love with you. You continue to amaze me each and everyday. Everyday is different and exciting. I can't believe you're here. My firstborn. My gorgeous little son.

Happy three month birthday Malachi.
Love your Mumma

Oh baby!!

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Two posts in a week *GASP* I can't believe it!! I thought I better do something while the little guy protests sleep... again!

I thought I was on to something this morning. It only took 15 minutes to get him to sleep with just the dummy. Sometimes its dummy and rocking but not this morning. I did a little happy dance and then of course, I jinxed myself by texting Hubby about it. He woke after just one sleep cycle and the other sleep of the day has been CRAP!!

He is currently in his basket having a whinge about sleeping, even though clearly he is tired. GAH! Babies I tells you. I am at my wits end with the unpredictability that a baby brings. So I had heard many people talk about Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall so I borrowed it from a friend and read most of the relevant things last night. Three words - What a Nutter!! I was annoyed at her after oh I don't know 20 pages? Does this lady even have a degree in anything baby? I read the author's note at the beginning of the book and she claims she's been a baby whisperer since 9!? Yeah okay.

She also says feeding your baby everytime they cry will mean he'll be an emotional eater when he's older. UMMM sure okay. I'd like to think that if my baby isn't hungry he won't eat. And I have noticed that if he isn't hungry he'll just pull on and off the boob. Cue me trying to find another solution to the crying. I'd also like to think that I'm smart enough to know that if it's only been an hour after his last feed he's probably not hungry and perhaps it might be something else wrong with him.

So now that I've crossed this book off my list of books not to adhere to I'm stuck as to what to try next. You hear so many good and bad things about different routines it's hard to know where to begin. I have heard of babywise and no cry sleep solution but don't want to fork out the money to read these books incase it's not what I want to follow. I think it might be time to get a library card so I can start borrowing books. Old school hey!? Can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library.

In better news, I think he's asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No dummy and no crying he just moaned and grunted a little and is now (fingers crossed I don't jinx myself) ASLEEP!! Oh thank goodness. Let's hope he lasts more than one sleep cycle. One can dream right!?

Now off to tidy the house.

Parenting Choices

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I was going to write this post yesterday but we had a pretty crappy day. A certian baby of mine decided sleep was for the weak and only slept maybe 2ish hours (and not all at once) between 7am and 8pm. I felt like all I did yesterday was try and get him to sleep, with obviously limited success. I even went to the mall and met some friends and drank coffee over his head while he was in the sling. **Gasp** what a bad Mummy. Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to ramble on about I was going to talk about people's need to offer advice.

Before I had a baby I heard from other Mummies about (mostly) well meaning people trying to help out and give advice. I too have found that since having a baby everyone loves to give you their two cents worth. It doesn't matter that they had a child 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago they'll still dish out the advice whether you ask for it or not. I find it so hard sometimes to just smile and suck it up and listen to them bash on about breastfeeding/using a dummy/cloth nappies/co sleeping etc or whatever it is they feel like going on about. So this is my advice to those people:

Please stop!! No I do not care that you never used a dummy, had a perfect angel child who slept for long periods in their cot, breastfed for a gazillion months etc. You telling me these things do not help me. I am doing the best I can for MY child and for the moment that involves using a dummy and letting him snuggle up to me in our bed at 2am in the morning when I am sick of hearing his noisy grunts. If you don't like it, I DON'T CARE!! You did not carry this baby in your womb for 9 months and then labour for 22 hours and push him out of you! He is my baby and I will do what works for me.

If you want to help I have stacks of washing that needs folding and I can't remember the last time my floors have seen a mop.

That is all.... carry on!!!