I have a question, and it's a question I've been wanting answered for so long, so care to help me?
Why do Mother's judge each other?
Why do we feel the need to pick, and criticise and judge what another Mum is doing with her child/ren?
I belong to a facebook group. I'm pretty sure we're all ladies, all mother's. We have a common interest, and that interest is cloth nappies.
A lady asked what's so bad about the Save our sleep (SOS) book/routine.
Now I understand most of these ladies on the page are into cloth nappies, Baltic amber, co sleeping, baby wearing etc etc.
But their comments; mainly directed at me as we used her times as a guide, and used her self settling methods were disgusting.
Here are a few pearlers:
* Babies starve on SOS as the Mum's don't feed the baby when they are hungry.
* I feel so sorry for babies who's Mum's use SOS. They are missing out on so many cuddles.
I just don't get it. Why does MY babies life involve you?
Why do you think that because we have a routine that I no longer have a brain and don't know when my son is hungry? Surely him doubling his birth weight by 3 months is a good indication that he wasn't ever left hungry.
While I do think some of the reasoning and logic in SOS isn't for me, I would never ever say anything to a parent about that.
It shits me up the wall this constant...... comparison? Competition?
Why don't we support and encourage instead of belittling and supporting others?
3 comments:
Oh, I know. We did a self-settling routine as well (not SOS, but something similar) and I've heard so many negative things about it over the years- even down to suggestions my son will be socially maladjusted because I let him cry in two minute intervals in an effort to get him to sleep.
I think for the most part parents are judgmental because they lack confidence in themselves and their choices.
P.S Welcome back to blogging- missed you! :)
This really gets me too Sarah. All Mums (with the very rare exception of course) have there baby's best interests at heart. I don't know a parent in my social circle that disregards their children's needs, yet we all do things differently from each other.
We all choose what is best for our baby, the options that work best in our life.
People that can only see their way as being the right way must be really small-minded...
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