13 Weeks Pregnant

Happy Belated Christmas Wishes!
We had a really quiet Christmas day here. I was sick so I just layed on the lounge all day and watched DH play wii Mario Kart, which was so funny because he gets so animated when he's losing/if something is 'thrown' at him. I got tickets to see the Cricket in Sydney in February. West Indies Vs Australia in a day/nighter. CAN'T WAIT!! We managed to watch Miracle on 34th street on Christmas day. I know it's on nearly every year around Christmas but I never actually watched the movie. Well we did this year and I must say I quite enjoyed it, and even had a little cry in some parts.

Boxing Day was lovely. I had to work in the morning which was okay because I worked in the Xray department and it was so cruisy. I finished reading my book (Ps I love you) because we only had to do scans on 8 people in the whole 8 hours I was there. I was going to have a sneaky ultrasound done but chickened out at the last moment.

We went to a friend's house for boxing day dinner (they're pregnant too and around 3 weeks behind us). We haven't done the couples hang out for a while so it was lovely to see them again. They have a daughter who is 2 and a bit and she's delightful. It took her a while to warm up to me, but after that we were bestest friends. We hung out by the Christmas tree and read some books together. It was lovely seeing her play with DH as well. My friend's parents were down from Sydney so we saw them again which was nice. We even managed to play UNO and while I didn't win (darn it) it was all in all a lovely night.

Pregnancy wise nothing much is happening. The nausea is slowly fading (YAY) so I'm hoping my appetite and sense of taste returns soon. I've booked my 18 week midiwfe appointment and also my Morphology scan (11th February, can't wait).

I'm tossing up whether to make a trip home to Toowoomba in late February so that family/friends can see me pregnant (I'll be around 22ish weeks then) but I'm not sure whether it's worth it. We'll be up for a family thing in September (with a 2 month old EEK scary) so maybe that's enough for the year. I know our mum and dad's want to come down once Squirt is born in July so we'll see them then. Neither DH or I have a lot of annual leave up our sleeves to make too many trips in 2010.

What's Squirt Up to This Week - Week 13

Squirt is now 7 to 8 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs 23 grams -- about half a banana. Its unique fingerprints are already in place. And when you poke your stomach gently and she feels it, your baby will start rooting -- that is, act as if she's searching for a nipple.

My Symptoms

* Insomnia - I just can't get comfortable no matter what position I try. Pillow between my legs, no pillow, sleep on right side, left side, curled in a ball.

* Extreme Tiredness - Probably due to the fact I can't get comfy in bed and I'm also battling a little head cold thingo as well

* Bad skin - still. I was told this will ease in the 2nd trimester so my fingers are crossed.

* The centre of my nipples are changing colour - it kind of looks white-ish? Odd indeed.

* Veins everywhere - You can see them on my boobs, stomach, legs, arms.

* Pregnancy Brain - I went to put my dirty plate in the cupboard and my peanut butter in the fridge

* Food Cravings - I am loving oranges. Can't get enough of them. I have one or two a day.

Belly Pictures

(and yes that's water you see dribbled down my shirt!! Haha)

Worry Wart?

Well I've just finished at the GP and he's given me Xmas day off. He wants me to have some bloods taken, just folate, iron and vitamin b12. I've also lost another 2 kgs. So 7kgs all up.

He also tried to listen to bub's heartbeat with a doppler and couldn't find it. He was scanning right near my pubic hair... I thought bub's at this stage (12 1/2weeks) would be up further? When I had my dating scan they scanned just below my belly button.

He said he's not concerned about not hearing the heartbeat as it's a bit hit and miss at this stage in terms of finding a heartbeat with a doppler. But he has me all worried now.

I'm still having pregnancy symptoms: sore veiny boobs, nausea, no bleeding, pregnancy pimples, a little bump. But now I'm worried and wish I had of told him not to scan with the doppler. I wish I could have a peek at bub's and make sure that they're okay. We don't have a scan now until the morphology scan which is just under 6 weeks away. I hope that time goes by quickly, but more than anything I hope Squirt was just being naughty and hiding from the doctor.

Hello 2nd Trimester

I can't believe we're in the 2nd trimester already. Or are we? One website says the 2nd trimester starts now, another says the 2nd trimester doesn't start until week 13 and a book I have says it doesn't start until week 14? Very odd indeed.

Time really has flown. I'm still having the occassional 'sick' day but no where near as frequently as in those first few weeks. I still haven't started to put on any of the 5kgs that I've lost, but I'm hoping that my appetite returns soon. DH is worried that I'm not putting on weight and asked whether we need another scan. I assured him that bub's is fine, it's my body that's being depleted of energy and nutrients :-)

So the name Squirt has stuck. DH was acually quite angry that someone told us about some sex connotation that can be associated with the word. We actually picked Squirt because it's that cute little turtles name in Nemo. Now he knows why you don't tell people some of the 'real' names you like, because they are bound to have an opinion or hate the name 'Bob' because 'there was a guy I went to school with who was called Bob and he was an X Y Z'. Honestly people, it's our child. We created bub's so it's our right to call him/her whatever we like. Whether it be a cute in utero name or a proper 'real life' name.

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. I'm not at all excited about it this year. All our family are in QLD and I'm scheduled to work an evening shift on Christmas leaving darling husband twiddling his thumbs all evening. I've actually booked a doctors appoinment tomorrow to try and get a medical certificate for Christmas day off. I'm meant to be working on a ward that's quite physically heavy and I'm not willing to risk my health (or Squirt's) for the sake of a job. Plus I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm constantly tired, so an extra day off won't hurt anyway. I think I may be getting another cold. My stupid nose is running like crazy and I'm sneezing a lot. I also feel I may have another UTI. GREAT!! More things to ask the GP about.

What's Squirt Up to This Week: Week 12

Squirt's face is beginning to look more human, even though she is only about 5.5cms long from her crown to her rump and weighs 14 grams. The eyes, which started out on the sides of the head, have moved closer together. The ears are almost in their normal position on the side of the head. The liver is making bile and the kidneys are secreting urine in the bladder.

My Symptoms:

* Extreme tiredness (I'm wondering if maybe I'm anaemic?)

* Awful skin (Thanks pregnancy hormones)

* My nipples are changing colour and looking pointy

* Food cravings. I'm currently craving sliced cheese. Can't get enough of it. Whether it's with rice crackers or by itself..... MMMM yumm!!! I've already gone through a 12pack. Must add that to tomorrow's shopping list.

Week 12 Belly Picture

A new name for Squirt

So after googling the word 'Squirt' (after a friend of mine questioned us about the name) and finding out that the word is associated with sex (I know, who would have thought?) we've had to come up with a new in utero name for this bubba and I've decided on Cricket. Mainly because that's what the the baby's little movements feel like at the moment (well I'm hoping it's the baby moving and not just gas!!) but also because it's summer and the cricket is on TV.

Only problem is we sent out little letters with the Christmas cards using the name Squirt.... oh well a pregnant lady is entitled to change her mind, especially when you find out your baby name is actually a sex term :-)

Grumpy Pregnant Person

Well apparently, according to darling husband, I'm a grumpy pregnant person. Hmmf. He should try battling 24/7 sea sickness and dealing with rather large boobs that hurt like crazy. I told him once he's had constant nausea then he can lecture me. Until then...... ZIP IT!!

Last week we told close family members that we are pregnant. Mum burst into tears straight away and told me we've made her christmas and made her year. Im not an overly emotional person but nearly I was crying in the middle of Kmart when I could hear her crying. Mum and I arent super close but she's so so excited. She just kept saying "im going to be a grandma'.
I rang and told dad too (him and mum are divorced) and he's pretty excited. He's worried we won't cope financially etc but when I told him I get 18weeks paid maternity leave he kinda relaxed after that.

My sister rang the night I told mum (we haven't spoken in 2 months because she's a selfish cow, but thats a whole other story) and congratulated me on our pregnancy and acted like we were best friends. And then proceeded to tell me how her and mum were talking about whether DH and I are old enough/mature enough to have a baby. What The Hell!? As if it's any of their concern. I replied with 'well it's our choice and we thought through our decision financially/emotionally/career wise before we started trying for a baby'. Honestly, some people need to realise that somethings in life are not about them, ie our decision to have a baby.

Im also annoyed because DH's grandma told all the aunts and uncles that we are pregnant. We actually sent out a little note with the xmas cards telling people the news ourselves. Honestly, it's our news to share so people should respect that. DH think's im just being a grumpy pregnant person but I would rather hear from the people themselves then from a 3rd party. I know she's probably only excited but it's our first bubba and I would rather people hear it from us.

Well we're nearly 12 weeks pregnant but I still thought I'd do a little 11 week update:

What's Squirt Up to This Week: Week 11

Squirt now looks like a baby, with tiny but fully formed fingers and toes. As his body grows and becomes more developed and functional, he'll start twisting and turning like an acrobat, cushioned and protected by your amniotic fluid.

My Symptoms:

*I have to get up and go to the toilet once or twice a night this week. Never had to do that before. At least I go back to sleep quickly.

* I have to sleep on my side with a pillow between my legs. Anything else is too uncomfy.

*My belly is feeling a little firmer around my pubic bone. I think I read this might be the uterus moving up?

* My belly is looking hairy.... EWWW

* My breasts are looking veiner

11 Week Belly Picture

The Lovely Angus & Julia Stone

The lovely Angus & Julia Stone have released a new song entitled 'And The Boys'. Love Love Love it!!!



They're also touring Australia in March, for the first time in 3 years.

So race out and grab some tickets to their concerts.

Happy 10 Week Birthday Squirt

Well much has happened since my last post including a few bouts of sickness, a few too many morning sickness chuck ups and a few too many kilos lost.

We had our dating scan on November 27th and all looked well with squirt. Dates were 2 days behind but we expected that... new EDD 4th July. We saw its little heart beating away at 167bpm and saw it moving its little legs too. Also saw the beginning of the umbilical cord. It was amazing. It's crazy how much they grow and achieve little milestones.

I have had tonsillitis and a headcold and a UTI in the space of 2 weeks. Just as I was getting over my tonsillitis this headcold appeared. I blame some sick person who sat next to me at the doctor's surgery Wednesday. GRRRR.

My poor nose is red raw from being blown so much. And the constant headache from blowing my nose is bloody annoying. All I've been taking is panadol but I think the worst is over now. (well fingers crossed anyway.)

So when I went and saw my GP Wednesday and he said I don't need the NT scan as I'm only 21 and DH 25 so our risk is low? Not sure if that's right or not? I was kind of hoping to have the scan before Xmas so then we could tell the rest of our family at Xmas time once we knew everything is okay with bubs.  
Now we won't get to see Squirt until the 18-20 week morphology scan (which will be around 10 weeks since our dating scan at 9 weeks).

I'm thinking this is a long time? Im probably just freaking out about nothing but I don't see the midwives until 18 weeks, its kind of like Im left on my own for 10 weeks with no scan, appointments etc. Hmmm 1st time mum freaking out here!

I have lost around 5 kgs in 2ish weeks which my doctor isn't concerned about. Funny thing is I think I look bigger in my 7 week belly shot than I do my 10 week one because I've lost my 'padding'  LOL.

What's Squirt Up to This Week: Week 10

Squirt is only about three centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs less than four grams. Even so, it's busily swallowing and kicking. Each day more minute details start to appear, such as fingernails and peach-fuzzy hair.

The vital organs -- the liver, kidneys, intestines, brain, and lungs -- are fully formed and functional, while the head is almost half the length of the entire body. The forehead temporarily bulges and sits high on the head, but later will change into a more human-like feature.

If you could take a look at your baby this week, you'd be able to see the clear outline of his spine. Spinal nerves stretch out from the spinal cord.

And finally: Here's some belly shots: 7 Weeks, 8 Weeks and 10 Weeks

 

 

 

6 Weeks Today Baby

WOW, 6 weeks today!! :-)
It's amazing how time goes by so quickly but drags at the same time. I am feeling less stressed of late, mainly thanks to my lovely husband. I've tried to tell him how I'm worried we'll lose the baby etc and he keeps saying 'well eat healthy and exercise and stress less & the rest is out of our hands'. And I guess I do need to remember that and just enjoy one day at a time.

Morning sickness is rearing it's ugly head, but I really don't mind. It's just a little reminder that I have a gorgeous little bubba growing inside me. I went to the GP yesterday and got referrals for blood tests and also a dating scan (at 11 weeks, which seems really late to me, considering you normally have a scan at 12 weeks???). I was going to get my blood tests done yesterday but didn't feel like being sucked dry by the pathology vampires so thought I'd go today. Only problem is I feel worse today HAHA. So think I'll just leave the bloods until my days off next week. Oh well looks like I'll be watching the OC today instead of running errands.

The in-laws are flying down from QLD tomorrow and it's going to take all our strength not to tell them we're pregnant (even though they'll probably guess as I won't be drinking wine). The GP said it's probably a bit early and I agree.
Not sure DH feels the same way but I said if anything were to happen and we lost the baby I just dont want them asking all the time how we feel, when it would be pretty obvious how we'd feel. We're just thinking positive and there isn't much more we can do. I keep telling baby I can't wait to meet them in July.

On a totally different note I nearly spewed this week when I was taking a nasal pack out of someone nose (all covered in blood and snot) so I had to tell the nurse I was working with that I just couldn't finish the dressing as I am pregnant and about to puke. WELL this lovely nurse is from the casual pool so totally won't tell anyone that I'm pregnant. And I left work the other day about 20 minutes early as I was finished all my work. Well this lovely nurse was back the next day & she said as I was leaving the other day two permenant nurses on my ward said to each other 'ooooooooo she's getting a bit of a tummy, do you think she's pregnant??!'

AH OH I'm only 6 weeks pregnant, lets hope my belly can hide until the 13 week mark. Either that or baby loves attention and wants everyone to know that I'm pregnant :-)

OH......MY.......GOODNESS!!!

It seems that we've finally done it. We are actually pregnant *insert scream here*
After my pity party post on October 16th it seems like the universe has listened and has given us our own little miracle to nourish and cherish.

We are so super excited (Darling husband more worried and anxious than excited.) I got home from work yesterday and still no AF so I thought I'd test (as I was sick of wasting pantyliners) and I saw those pretty pink lines. Im in such shock. We only BD'd once this cycle as I was away, and I was sure I was just wasting my last First Response test. But the 2nd line came up in less than 2 minutes!!

I rushed out yesterday and bought a little jump suit that says mummy + daddy = me.... and put the test in with it and wrapped it up in army wrapping paper!!! (The only wrapping paper we have in the whole house) LOL.
 
So I told DH last night and he was the typical boy, he just kept saying 'are you sure'! And to make it worse the POAS kinda fell inside the wrapping paper so it just looked like i'd given him some random baby suit LOL. I had to say.... ah there's more in there. I think it'll take him sometime to adjust to the whole idea (not being the most flexible person when it comes to change) But after I told him i was pregnant I went to get up and make a cup of tea and he said 'no i'll do that, you're in no state to be getting up ' And he's rubbing my belly and calling me mum so I think he's excited but worried at the same time.


Well I thought I'd let you know the symptoms I've had:

Increased CM. It actually made me wonder whether I'd actually O'd yet or not

REALLY sore nipples. I have a jumper on now and no bra because it's just killing me

And some nausea. I could only eat half my breakfast this morning.

And that's it. I still can't believe it. Im totally petrified and freaking out. But I'm sending positives vibes into the universe and praying that this little bundle will stick!!

I can't get in to see my GP until Wednesday, but Im not too worried. The 2nd line came up super dooper fast so Im pretty sure Im pregnant. Just need to get bloods etc taken.

AHHHHHHH I'm going to be a mummy in July 2010!!! SO SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!

It's Been a While

So it's been a while since I sat and did some blogging and I'm sad to say that there really hasn't been that much happening in my life.

I have just gotten back from a week in Toowoomba to visit the fam and let's just say it was about as fun as watching paint dry. I have two younger sisters who I have decided to distance myself from as they are just so selfish and self centered and dare I say it, ugly people. Now, don't get me wrong I love them. I just don't like them. And until they are nicer people I really don't want them in my life. Harsh? Perhaps. But after putting up with this for the last 3 years or so I think I've earnt the right to step back from them and concentrate on my life with my darling husband.

Now, on to the baby front. Or lack thereof to be precise. Absoluetely nothing is happening. Zilch, nadda, zip. It's bitterly disappointing not to be pregnant. I'm pretty certain I "o"ed whilst I was in QLD (away from darling husband) so I'm 99% certain we won't be seeing that BFP this cycle. Which means we'll be on to cycle six. I know I keep saying this but I honestly didn't think it would take this long for us to fall pregnant.

Darling husband's parents are coming down for a visit in mid November and I always imagined that we would be about 12 weeks pregnant and be able to share the joy and happiness with them in person.
Instead, I'm sitting here sad and disappointed that God hasn't blessed us with our own bubba yet. I know it can take up to 12 months for healthy couples to fall pregnant BLAH BLAH BLAH. It still hurts that we aren't pregnant. It still brings tears to my eyes when I see all the gorgeous pregnant ladies with their swelling bellies walking around the city.

I just don't know what to do, think or say.... Where to from here??

My Morning in Heaven

I've just had the most wonderful morning in heaven (aka the lifeline bookfest). I had such a lovely time just walking around and getting some cheap books and supporting a good cause at the same time. Win Win situation right?!.

I wasn't overly smart though and only took in one 'green' bag, so I had to buy a calico bag before my arms dropped off .Note to self 20 books in a calico bag hurts one's shoulder. I think next year I might invest in a 'nanna-push-a-long' trolley so I can drag my books around, not cart them around on my shoulders.

It was so lovely seeing people of all age and race walking along the tables and looking for a good book to read. It made me smile when I saw little kids with books in their arms, ready to take them home and cherish them forever. I'm so pleased that children still love reading and aren't just interested in the television, or computer.

So what did I purchase?? Well I bought:

• 9 of the 'Dr Scarpetta books' (To complete my series) - Patricia Cornwell
• Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
• Harvesting the Heart - Jodi Picoult
• The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks
• The Wedding - Nicholas Sparks
• PS, I Love You - Cecilia Ahern
• Sundowners - Lesley Lokko
• A Walk to Remember - Nicholas Sparks
• The Choice - Nicholas Sparks
• The Other Boleyn Girl - Philippa Gregory
• The Naked Husband - Mark D'Arbanville
• The Jane Austen Book Club - Karen Joy Fowler

Now despite what my husband might say, 20 odd books is not unreasonable. Especially when I've wanted all these books for forever. AND all 20 books only cost me $95. Bargain I say. There's no way you could buy 20 books in a retail store for that price.

Aaahhh bliss! Now I just need to find room on my bookcase for the new additions.

Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

Well we are home from our wonderful trip to New Zealand and I must say, that is one beautiful country. We drove around the south island and it was just spectacular. It wasn't too cold, it was green, there was still snow on the mountains. It was just super to get away to a beautiful place, even for just 2 weeks.

The start to the holiday didn't go so well as the airline we flew with had some issues with their electronic check in machine thingo... so the air hostess's were counting everyone on the plane, then recounting, then recounting, then counting some more. We ended up being delayed by two hours. Definetly not the best start to the holiday. That coupled with the fact that poor husband was sitting RIGHT near the toilet the entire flight.... well let's just say he wasn't a happy chappy when we landed in Christchurch.

We didn't do any of the adventure type thrill seeking tours while we were there. We did a glacier landing (so beautiful) a lake cruise at Franz Josef, the gondola tour at Queenstown, the Milford Sound cruise and so much more.
We actually pre booked and paid for everything before we left Australia and the night before the Milford sound cruise husband and I both got food poisoning (YUCK) and we so weren't in the mood to drive two hours on an awful snow covered road. But because we had already paid for it we didn't want to miss out. But let's just say 90 minutes on a cruise boat while battling food poisoning probably isn't the best idea. The boat took us out to the Tasman sea and wholey moley I nearly puked again it was so damn choppy!!!

But we're home safe and warm (well kind of, the weather in Canberra is pretty awful today) and have most definetly caught the travel bug. Husband is putting his CV on some European job sites and we're hoping that we will be able to work and travel around Europe next year some time. And maybe even fit in a trip to Japan.

On the TTC front all is not going so well. The not temping thing is doing my head in and we'll most definetly go back to temping next cycle. I just hate not knowing where about's I'm up to in the cycle. We definetly didn't BD at the right times so I think we won't see that BFP this cycle. Oh well I guess it's not over until the red witch arrives, but I definetly don't have high hopes this cycle.
Well off to buy my sister a pressie for her birthday. Stay warm!!

Blog This Challenge

If you could choose a day, a week, a moment in time to re-live - what would it be?

Just a quick one from me as I should really be tidying the house before we drive to Sydney.
I just read Zoey's response to this week's blog this challenge and it got me thinking... what moment would I relive?

Well of course my wedding day was fantastic & such a beautiful day in my life. The matchbox twenty concert I went to was pretty frickin' awesome as well.... but the one moment I would like to relive would probably be the last time I saw my Nan.

Nan passed away when I was just 8, and I didn't know it at the time that she was dying of Leukemia. I remember driving to her house, a 4 hour drive from where I grew up. I remember my aunt filming me just sitting on Nan's lap and I remember the card game 'clocks' that my Nan taught me to play.

We had a family reunion, and Nan let me hammer a hole in a bottle of softdrink and I remember walking around the yard on the night of the reunion just swigging out of my bottle. My cousin was there too and I remember we played that 'clappy' game, you know.... 'you're mother, my mother lived down the street, 18 19 Marble Street....'

I remember singing songs with my sister as we sat on the stairs that lead to her front door. I remember when it was time to say goodbye I bawled my eyes out because I didn't want to leave Nan. Like I said, I didn't know it at the time that it would be the last time I would see her. But a part of me thinks that perhaps my 8 year old self knew something wasn't quite right and didn;t want the moment to end.

So why do I want to relive this particular moment,out of all the moment's in my life? Because Nan truly was the most beautiful wonderful person in my life. I would love to go back there and hug her one last time. To take in her smell and to get one last photo of us together.
I miss my Nan so much & would love to see her again, even for just one day.

Here is the beautiful song 'Nan' by Robbie William's that sums up how I feel about my Nan.



Well I'm outta here for two weeks. Take care & stay safe

I've Been Living Under a Rock

Honestly, I have. I've been so busy with work and everyday life stuff that I didn't realise that Mr Paul Dempsey from Something For Kate has released a solo album entitled 'Everything is True'
I LOVE LOVE LOVE his voice and will rush out tomorrow to buy the album just in time to load it onto my ipod for the trip.... but incase you've never heard of said musical genius I'll leave you with this clip...



Now to hope and pray he makes his way down to Canberra on his tour.... fingers crossed :)

It's Tuesday & I Can't Wait.....

It's Tuesday And I Can't Wait........ for my suitcase to miraculously pack itself. Okay, so I know that will never happen but one can dream right??

So we're leaving for NZ on Thursday (very early!!) and my suitcase still isn't packed. I sat down to do it yesterday before the boy got home and it was a disaster. I need to pack warm things (obviously) that are both comfortable, and practical but also things I wouldn't be ashamed to wear in public.
Having said that though, I have not been able to find a cute rainjacket, so if it rains in NZ I'm going to have to wear the boys raincoat which is about 4 sizes too big for me. I told him I'd rather wear a ladybug poncho than be seen dead in some of the female raincoats that are around at the moment. Please God no rain when we're in NZ, please!!

So I bought some new jeans (bargain mind you for $30 a pair at Big W, and they are oh so comfy) and I'm also going to pack these comfy black pants I bought from Rivers. But apparently 3 pairs of jeans is excessive. I didn't think so, but the boy did. I decided to pack some jumpers for everyday wear and some nicer ones for if/when we go to a nice place to eat. That's fine, I think I have that sorted out, but the boy thinks two pairs of pj's is excessive!!!!

I nearly fell over when he told me I'm only allowed one pair of pj's (my cute sheep one's since we're going to NZ, I thought that was appropriate!!). So I tried bargaining with him.... it went a little like this.....

ME: One pair of pj's.... I'm only allowed one pair of pj's???

HIM: Well of course we will be washing our clothes at some point during the trip, besides, look at how much room flannelette pj's take up.

ME: Well I guess they are quite bulky. How about I trade you? I'll leave one pair of pj's behind but I get to pack extra jumpers!

HIM: Extra jumpers? You've already packed 6 jumpers, 8 long sleeve shirts and 3 scarves I think you've got enough packed for this 13 day trip. If anything you need a raincoat. How did the shopping for a rainjacket go today?

So after that comment I quit.... I tipped all my clothes back into my suitcase (not folded or anything) and told him he could pack for me!!!

Then I woke up this morning to a lovely note saying:
"Don't do too much packing without me... it's just soooo much fun packing together!!"

Oh boy, it's going to be a long 13 day driving holiday!!

Beth's Method

So the witch arrived :( And I wasn't as disappointed as I was last cycle. I never would have imagine it would take a healthy 21yr old this long to fall pregnant. DH always thought we'd fall 1st cycle and that was why he wanted to delay trying for a baby for a few months. I always knew it could take up to a year and it's just really getting the better of me emotionally.

My darling husband was so upset when I told him we weren't pregnant... he said 'i never thought i'd be so disappointed'. It really broke my heart to hear him say that. Honestly I don't know what more we could have possibly done. We BD'd every frickin day in the lead up to O day. Far out. Cycle 4 here we come!

I've decided this month we will take it easy with the babymaking. We won't check my temperature at the same time each morning, we won't track cervical mucous. I don't even know what cycle day I am.

I've decided to do this for a few reasons:

1. We are off to New Zealand on Thursday & I didn't really want to take my thermometer over there. And I won't have access to the internet to plug my temperatures into Fertility Friend so there honestly is no point carrying around a piece of paper with temperatures written on them.

2. A friend of mine Beth is of the opinion that if we take it easy and just baby dance whenever we might just fluke a pregnany! Well we've tracked temperatures, and checked CM and babydanced when it was meant to be the fertile time and prayed to whoever was listening that we are ready to start our family and we've had no luck. So we'll try Beth's method and see what happens. It can't hurt after all.

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

I honestly hate the two week wait (TWW). Every twinge and pain is magnified and I honestly feel like I can't do anything to improve our chances of creating a miracle. We made love at the 'right' times and I even laid with my legs in the air and a pillow under my bum just so the little spermie swimmers could get a helping hand in finding the egg. I have been trying to stay positive and let the universe know 'that we are ready and willing to accept a child into our lives'. But oh it's so hard sometimes.

I've been trying to keep busy this last week or so (I'm 10 days past ovulation and desperately trying to restrain myself from testing until AF is a week late..... so only 11 days to go) but it's so hard. I have had immense back ache for the last 5 days or so (thank God for wheat packs) and this morning I got the highest ever temperature in the 3 months we've been trying to conceive. These things coupled with the fact that I feel off in the stomach gets my hopes up that we are pregnant.

But last cycle I had myself convinced that we were pregnant and we know how that ended. My dreams were crushed and I was crying like a sissy girl.

BLAH!!! The dreaded TWW! Oh how I hate you. I have my fingers crossed that we've timed our baby making sessions right, that sperm met egg and that there is a little bubba being made as we speak.

Hello World, This is Me!

Making : a trip to the shopping centre today to return some clothes.
Cooking : Not much tonight, as it's grocery week and we're running out of essentials.
Drinking : Caffeine free rosehip & hibiscus tea.
Reading : Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.
Wanting : Some inspiration for my hair before I see my lovely hairdresser.
Looking : like I just got out of bed. Bedhair and all.
Playing : with the idea of a family of three.
Wasting : my morning away by chilling in front of the computer.
Sewing : Me? Sew? I don't think so. I can't even sew a button back on to my clothes.
Wishing : That my husband didn't work such crazy long hours.
Enjoying : The silence that is filling my house.
Waiting : for my hairdressers appointment this afternoon.
Liking : decaf black coffee with half a teaspoon of equal... I'm in love!
Wondering : If we'll enjoy our New Zealand trip in a fortnight.
Loving : My job. Yes it's crap at times but I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life.
Marvelling : at how beautiful the day is here in Canberra.
Needing : A massage. My back is full of knots.
Smelling : The beautiful smell of my herbal tea.
Wearing : My pj's and dressing gown... oh the life!
Following : Forums and Blogs. When I have internet hours anyway.
Noticing : How fantastic my life is at the moment
Knowing : That one day we will be a family of 3 (or 4 or 5)
Thinking : I should probably shower and get ready to shop
Bookmarking : Fantastic blogs that I love to read.
Opening : My mind to the universe and letting it know that we are ready to accept a child into our family.
Giggling : At how utterly tired I feel. I almost feel hungover.
Feeling : Pretty damn good!!!

Duty of Care

I love being a nurse. I love the fact that what I do makes a difference to patients and their families. I love not sitting at a desk all day. I love chatting to people. But today I didn't like being a nurse.

We were understaffed and without a manager. We had no wardsupport officer and were also down one nurse. I don't mind when the ward is busy & you're flat out. But when patient care begins to suffer that's when mistakes occur.

I left my shift at 330 feeling like a lot of things weren't done and my patient's did not get the care they deserve. 4 patient's didn't have their blood pressures taken, 1 lady doesn't have a callbell to press for the nurse when needed & one didn't get a shower.

At uni we were taught about duty of care and that at the end of the day I as a registered nurse am responsible for those 4 (or 5 or 6 depending on staff numbers) patient's. But when you're fighting the odds, and are 3 staff down and have done all that you can, is that good enough? At the end of the day it's my registration on the line if (God-forbid) anything were to go wrong.

In a perfect world we would never be shortstaffed. But with an aging workforce & nurses that are exhausted and nurses that are quitting left right and centre, I don't see the nurse shortage getting better anytime soon.
What can we do to ensure patient's are getting the care they deserve?

It's Tuesday and I can't wait....

for so many things... here goes:

I cant wait for this head cold to go away. I have been drinking awful lemon ginger tea in the hopes that it would help. And even rubbing vicks on my chest. The smell of vicks reminds me of my childhood.

I can't wait for spring, it's such a lovely time of year. It will make getting up at 530am that much more bearable.

And lastly, I can't wait until our New Zealand trip on September 3rd, God we need a holiday!

if you want to join in head on over to buttonsbyloulou and put your link in her linky machine.

Oh Cruel World

Dear Universe,
You know how much DH and I ache for children, but instead of our own precious bubba we get a phone call saying DH's brother and his wife are expecting again. Thanks for the slap in the face.
Now don't get me wrong, we love DH's brother & his wife but seriously!? They are due right when we would have been due if AF hadn't of reared her ugly head. I think you're being very cruel. All I ask is that you please bless us with our own bubba very soon.


I think it's times like these that I need to remember this little picture below:

AF - The Most Wicked Witch Of Them All

So it was this time last week that my heart was broken. AF aka Aunt Flo aka my period arrived. Now to most females that's probably no big deal. We all get them right? But when you're on the trying to conceive rollercoaster AF is the last thing you want to see!

Last cycle I had everything crossed, praying to someone that we would be blessed with a pregnancy. It would have been perfect. We would have been due very close to what would have been my Nan's 90th birthday. Surely the universe would be kind and bless us with a pregnancy? Surely you can't break someone's heart when everything seems so perfect? Yeah Right!?

When AF arrived I was heartbroken, devestated, shattered. I cried like a sissy girl to my poor husband. 'Life sucks, it's just not fair' I cried. Im a young somewhat fit 21 year old. Surely 2 months is long enough to fall pregnant I thought. Now I know the literature says it can take up to 6 months for a young healthy couple to fall pregnant but BLAH BLAH BLAH. I couldn't help but feel saddened that it wasn't meant to be.

Well it's onwards and upwards from here. My poor darling husband is not going to know what's hit him. I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off him. We will fall pregnant this month. I don't want AF visiting ever again. Well, for at least 40 weeks or so.

My Very First Blog Post

So what better way to start off my blog than to complete a blog this challenge:
Tell us fifteen facinating, far fetched, frightening, funny or frivilous facts about yourself. Those bits of trivia that are floating around in your life.

1. I'm obsessed with blogs. I waste many a hour just reading other people's blogs (hence I thought it was about time I started my own).
2. My husband and I have recently (3 months ago) started to try and conceive our first bub. Who would have thought it would be so mentally draining?
3. I'd love to have 4 children.
4. My books are organised in alphabetical order according to author's surnames.
5. My cd's are also alphabeticalised (is that even a word??).
6. I'm a vegetarian and have been for the past 8 years or so.
7. Im a surgical nurse and really really enjoy it.
8. I love peppermint ice magic and coconut on my icecream.
9. Actually, I love nearly everything peppermint.
10. I would love to live in Canada, no idea why Canada but have always felt this pull to go there.
11. I did gymnastics for over 7 years when I was in primary school.
12. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gilmore Girls.
13. I name everything - i have a GHD called Geraldine, a car called Agatha, a TV called Sammy, a lounge named Ritchie.... I think you get the point.
14. I have 2 sisters, 4 half brothers, 2 step sisters and a step brother.
15. I love the feel of clean sheets when you slide into bed after a hectic day.