A Hard Week

This week I have found out my not quite 15 yr old sister is pregnant. To say I'm disappointed and upset would be an under statement. They live in another state so I can't really help/do much from here. The most upsetting thing though is apparently she's excited about it. I don't think she realises babies are not little dolls you can dress up and hand back when they are crying/upset etc. Having a baby is a life time commitment.

Apparently the father is some 'one night stand' that'll 'be there for her' YEAH RIGHT!!! I just know now the life my sister will have if she has this baby. She probably won't finish yr 10 (baby is due in October) so will have a hard time finding a decent job having not completed yr 10 and having a small baby/child. She is very immature for her age (being the youngest of 3) and definitely lacks motivation. I honestly can't see her going back to school to finish year 11 and 12. Far out, so disappointed. I guess I was just waiting for the announcement considering my mother let her stay at a boyfriends place at 13..... but no they werent having sex right!? Some people are so naive.

I think it's especially upsetting as the husband and I planned our bub's and wanted to make sure we were as financially and emotionally ready as we could be before deciding to bring a baby into the world. My childhood wasn't the easiest or most enjoyable. We never went on holidays like other families did and that is something I don't want our bub's to experience. I'm not talking about a fantastic 5 star experience. Even something as fun and basic as camping for a week in the summer holidays.

My sister sent me a message saying ' Being pregnant and keeping it is all my choice. Mum is supporting my wishes like I thought you would. How would you feel if people were telling you to give up your baby. I don't care who supports me through this, but the people who do I know care and love me.'

I just don't know how to support her when I think it's selfish to bring a child into the world when you're not financially and emotionally ready. Growing up in a single parent household surviving week to week thanks to the government was not fun and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So how do I support my sister when I think she's not making the best decision?

Squirt and I

Squirt at 22 Weeks

* Squirt weighs about 430 grams, measures just over 27 centimetres long from crown to heel.

* The lips are distinct and the eyes are formed, though the iris (the coloured part of the eye) still lacks pigment.

* The first signs of teeth appear in the form of tooth buds beneath the gum line

Mumma To Be

Loving

* feeling Squirt kicking and moving around

* my ever changing shape

* the excitement people get when they rub my belly

Loathing

* being woken up in the middle of the night with leg cramps

* itchy flaky belly skin

Bump Pics

21 Weeks Baby

Things are full steam ahead at our place. The rental looks like a bomb has hit there. There are boxes and boxes stacked everywhere ready to be taken to the new place and extra boxes thrown on the ground ready to be filled with all our junk. You honestly don't realise how much you accumulate until you have to pack it all up.

I have the joyous task of going through old uni textbooks/assignments/study notes this afternoon. BORING! But considering all I did last Saturday was give words of encouragement to the husband as I watched him pack up our bookcase I guess it's my turn to pack a few things.

Everything is going well with Squirt and I. It's been nearly two weeks since we found out bub's is probably a boy and I must say I'm so freaking excited! I think I just had to come to terms with the fact that my mother's intuition was way off. I did have a dream the night before our scan that bub's was a boy and we called him our favourite boys name. So who knows, maybe it was Squirt letting us know his sex early!?

Squirt at 21 Weeks

* Squirt now weighs about 360 grams.

* From crown to heel bub's is approximately 27 centimetres long.

* The eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed and the fingernails cover the fingertips.

* Our little baby can now hear our conversations. EEEK scary thought. Better make sure it's lovely words that come out of my mouth :-) Though I do put my angry voice on when Squirt is kicking like mad and it's sleep time. Doesn't do me much good though!

Mumma To Be

I've had a terrible few days at work so I'm so glad I'm on days off now. Sometimes I worry that the stress of my job is not good for our baby's health. I think I just need to remember at the end of the day I can only do so much and must put my health and the baby's health first. I have applied for my maternity leave (WOO HOO!) so my last day at work will be the 24th May. I am lucky and get 18 weeks paid maternity leave and 7 weeks of annual leave a year. I plan on taking all my leave at half pay so all up I'll have just under a year of leave at half pay. Pretty cool indeed.

21 Week Bump

Well I hear my uni textbooks calling my name. Must feed Squirt lunch and start the awful job of packing.

Half Way!

Wow! 20 weeks yesterday. I can't believe I'm halfway through this pregnancy. Time really is flying. There's so many things I need to do: book glucose tolerance test, book pregnancy yoga, birthing/parenting classes, move into our new house, clean old rental. It's crazy how things can pile up.

I think I'm finding it difficult to get excited about having a son (I know, that sounds bloody ungrateful.) I guess part of it might be because the scanner was so hesitant when she announced the flavour (she said 'for some of the scan I thought boy and for then at times I thought girl.) Then bub's wasn't cooperating and she 'thought' she saw the testes etc I just worry that she rushed us at the end because it was taking too long.

I think if I knew 100% (or at least a little bit more definate than what the sonographer appeared) I could be excited and start buying all the lovely little boy things. But because she appeared to not really know I can't really get excited either way. It's honestly like we don't know what we're having gender wise but are now leaning more towards boy if that makes sense.

Part of me actually wanted/wants a boy because I grew up at home having 2 sisters (my 3 brothers lived with dad so only saw them at school holidays etc) and I know how bitchy we can be. So having a boy would be something new and exciting and it's like the husband and I are on even playing fields. He's never been a baby person and is freaking out about it etc. Where as I've always been around baby girls and thought "yep bub's is a girl I'll be okay at this" Now I think 'i know nothing about boys' EEKKKK!!

I guess this last 20 weeks I was thinking bubs was a girl and then to find out it's probably a boy I guess it's kinda thrown me a little. I spent months imagining what we'd call our daughter and what lovely girly things we'd do together as mumma and daughter that I've now got a new reality to think about. Not that we aren't happy that bub's is healthy it's just hard readjusting my thoughts to bub's is a boy. I know it's common for parents to feel this way. But it's so hard. I feel so awful.

20 Week Belly

Morphology Scan

We had our scan this morning and everything looks lovely. Squirt was mostly co-operative until we went to look between the legs!!! Fairly certain though that bub's is a ........ BOY!!

The sonographer managed to capture a frame showing the testes and scrotum.... hopefully she's right and knows what she's talking about/saw. I don't really think you can mistake those kind of bits! She said she thought it was a boy after scanning for 5minutes at the very beginning of the ultrasound. So we'll stick with boy for the moment. With her being so indecisive though makes us not want to rush out and buy all boy things.

Bub's is measuring 2 days ahead and was so playful. Had it's thumb up it's nose and refused to show her one of his feet and hid behind my belly button whenever she tried to look at the foot!! I'm in awe that the husband and I have created someone so perfect. Can't wait to meet our bub's and get to know them.

Considering I'm 19weeks and 4 days today I won't bother with a 19 week update. I did take some belly pics at 19 weeks though.

Belly Pics

Maternity Shorts For Sale

Size 14 Khaki coloured linen shorts for sale. The brand is 'Maternity Plus'. Never worn, tags attached. My mum bought these for me but unfortunatly they are miles too big for me and she has lost the receipt. RRP for the shorts is $39.95 will sell for $25 ONO plus postage.

Hello Hump Day

This week is going by super fast. I guess when you work three 12 hour shifts in a row half a week goes by pretty quickly. Everyone at work is amazed I'm continuing on with the 12 hour shifts instead of dropping back to 8 hour shifts. But I love having four days off in a week. It's like a mini holiday every week. Except when I'm busy like crazy (like today) and have a million and one things to do.

We handed over $1000 for the townhouse today and filled in some paperwork. Now we have to find a solicitor, look at house insurance and contact our mortgage broker and kick his bum into gear to get all the finance stuff started. Our landlord wants it all happening ASAP because the longer it takes for the settlement the longer the place sits vacant and he's paying mortgage repayments on an empty property (it used to be one of his rentals).
Speaking of the landlord. The bloody guy .... we ended up paying another $3500 for the property because the one that we turned down sold for $15 000 more than we were offering to pay for his place. I was very very pissed off **insert pregnant lady hissy fit here**. He was the one who said we could have his preoperty for the same price we were offering for the other place. It wasn't our fault it sold for more. He rang the husband and said 'the property you turned down sold for $15000 more than you offered. I've left the key at the townhouse for you to look around again. Once you've done that call me and let me know if you think you're ripping me off!!' WTF!!!!!

His attitude was very offputting and we were thinking he would want another $15 000 for his property, which we absolutely can't afford with me going on maternity leave shortly. But in the end he was reasonable (I guess) and we just paid for the new carpets and paid for the painting to be done (all the things he was doing to the place anyway). But we love the place and can see us and bub's there. And it's only going to get more expensive to buy a property. May as well get into the market now.

Everything is going well with Squirt and I too. Bub's is still wiggling like crazy and doing it pretty frequently now. Still not moving hard enough for husband to feel but fingers crossed it won't be too long.

What's Squirt up to this week: Week 18

* Bub's is approximately 14.2 centimetres long from crown to rump and she weighs about 225grams

* The chest moves up and down to mimic breathing but baby's not taking in air, only amniotic fluid.

* The hearing is now functioning and Squirt is listening to my heartbeat

Belly Pics

A late 17 week update

Why hello there! Remember me?

Sorry I haven't been around much. I went back to work on Sunday so things have been busy busy. It's always hard to do my weekly pregnancy updates on time (Squirt's new week begins on Sunday's) as I tend to work Sunday, Monday and Tuesdays for 12 hours a day.

I think I'm growing a weird baby. Bub's moves like crazy when I'm at work! Non stop wiggles, it's very very cute. Husband still can't feel bub's from the outside yet, but we're hoping it won't be too much longer. I really want him to feel bub's moving around.

We still haven't heard back from the landlord yet about the townhouse. Things are taking a while longer because of the public holiday. Fingers crossed all goes well though. We're thinking of going around to the townhouse again after measuring a few things and seeing if they'll fit. We have a massive 'L' shaped lounge that we're not sure will look okay in the new lounge room.

This week has been a fairly quiet week so I'll leave my update at that. I'm just counting down until my midwife appoitment on Feb 5th. I really want to know whether I can get a filling done. I had a really scary dream about the dentist the other night. I think it's my body's way of telling me I've put off the dentist trip long enough. Gosh I hate dentists. The rooms smell icky and I hate having someone stick their fingers in my mouth.

And we're also looking forward to our morphology scan on Feb 11th followed by a trip to Sydney on Feb 12th to see the cricket..... exciting time ahead!

What's Squirt up to this week: Week 17

* Squirt is now 13 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs approximately 140 grams

* Her skeleton is mostly rubbery cartilage, which will harden later.

*A protective substance called myelin slowly begins to wrap around the spinal cord.

Mumma To Be

* Slowly feeling more energetic. I wouldn't say I'm full of beans but I definetly don't want to fall in a pile and sleep all the time (Just in the afternoons when it's nanny-nap time)

*My belly button is changing shape. The skin at the top is being pulled tight and my belly button is getting a little bigger. I think my uterus must be close to my belly button now

* My skin is starting to improve a little. WOO HOO!! Might get that pregnancy glow yet.

17 Week Bump Pics