I think I'm finding it difficult to get excited about having a son (I know, that sounds bloody ungrateful.) I guess part of it might be because the scanner was so hesitant when she announced the flavour (she said 'for some of the scan I thought boy and for then at times I thought girl.) Then bub's wasn't cooperating and she 'thought' she saw the testes etc I just worry that she rushed us at the end because it was taking too long.
I think if I knew 100% (or at least a little bit more definate than what the sonographer appeared) I could be excited and start buying all the lovely little boy things. But because she appeared to not really know I can't really get excited either way. It's honestly like we don't know what we're having gender wise but are now leaning more towards boy if that makes sense.
Part of me actually wanted/wants a boy because I grew up at home having 2 sisters (my 3 brothers lived with dad so only saw them at school holidays etc) and I know how bitchy we can be. So having a boy would be something new and exciting and it's like the husband and I are on even playing fields. He's never been a baby person and is freaking out about it etc. Where as I've always been around baby girls and thought "yep bub's is a girl I'll be okay at this" Now I think 'i know nothing about boys' EEKKKK!!
I guess this last 20 weeks I was thinking bubs was a girl and then to find out it's probably a boy I guess it's kinda thrown me a little. I spent months imagining what we'd call our daughter and what lovely girly things we'd do together as mumma and daughter that I've now got a new reality to think about. Not that we aren't happy that bub's is healthy it's just hard readjusting my thoughts to bub's is a boy. I know it's common for parents to feel this way. But it's so hard. I feel so awful.
20 Week Belly
