Emotionally spent

I was going to find a super fantastic photo to put at the top of my post but I couldn't be bothered.

So just pretend there's something fancy schmancy here.

Yep. I know.

Super slack blogger here.

The truth is I just have nothing to say.

I am exhausted. Just mentally exhausted.

I hate drama.

My family are all about the drama.

To cute a super long story short.

My 16 year old sister is pregnant again. She'll have two babies 16 months apart.


She's not with the druggo boyfriend anymore at least that's what they tell me. No, I'm pretty sure he slept with my 21 year old alcoholic sister no I'm not making this up.


Mum rang to tell me my sister was pregnant again. I was angry okay angry is an understatement.

My sister's excuse? She's never been on the pill so that's how she fell pregnant. Grow the feck up.


I think it probably annoyed the shit out of me more as I would lurve another baby. Yep, can't believe I'm saying that. Mrs I want-a-massive-age-gap-can't-deal-with-the-newborn-sleep-deprivation-again-anytime-soon.

But you know what. I'm an adult. And just because I want something doesn't mean I get it. We have a mortgage, and bills to pay, and all that other grown up stuff so for the moment having another baby is not on the cards.

I'm back to work Saturday butterflies much. But that's a post for another day.

So forgive my absence while I wallow in hurt/anger/disappointment/bitterness.

Rainbows everywhere

I called my manager yesterday to arrange a time to go in and see him about returning to work.

He was less then friendly and quite rude to be honest.

*sigh* As if I wasn't anxious enough already about returning after a year off.

So I've been looking at Etsy for gorgeous little goodies to brighten my day.

I think Etsy should come with a warning "Beware, highly addictive. You will waste many a hour searching this site".

Anyway, I digress.

Look at all these pretties!

Mmim's Store

Kawaii4U's store

nms2523's shop

DelightfulEpiphany's Shop

Lisaghove's store

Aren't they gorgeous!

If I hadn't of spent so much money on cloth nappies that Malachi doesn't really need this week I'd be very tempted to get a few things.

What do you do when you're feeling down?

Surf the web?

Buy cloth nappies?

Eat chocolate?

Hat trick fail

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Maybe this is how you get a baby to sleep through the night?
Just put them in a sink?

Malachi has always been an okay sleeper. He wasn't one of those babies who woke every hour for a feed as a freshie thank God. But he's never consistently slept through the night. I could count on three fingers one hand the number of times he's slept through.

I thought we were on to a winner. The beginning of continuous sleep thrus. He slept through after we went out for dinner Saturday night, and then he followed it up with another sleep through Sunday night. He was waking earlier though, but I thought that was a good compromise seeing as though I just got an 8 hour block of sleep.

With baited breath we went to bed last night, hoping and praying he'd sleep through again.... and of course he didn't.

It was worse then usual.

Normally, he'll wake for a feed once overnight and be back asleep in a matter of moments. I'd probably only be away 30 minutes max. Last night, oh last night he thought being awake for two fecking hours would be a good idea. We changed him, I offered more milk, I rocked him, I layed him on my chest. But he was just intent on piss farting around, squirmy and playing with the clasp on my maternity singlet.

GAAAHHHHH babies are so frustrating  adorably unpredictable. Even now the young one is fighting his second day sleep, you know, just to mix it up a little.

Babies, gotta love them.

The W word

Yes yes, I'm talking about THE wedding. You know, the little one that happened on Friday (local time).

Now I know you're probably like me and a little sick of it, but bare with me. I have had visitors for the last 10 days so need to indulge in a little bit of wedding talk.

I'm sorry to say I was not at home watching the wedding like the 2 billion people around the world, I instead was out enjoying a baby free dinner with a girlfriend (the first EVER baby free dinner since Malachi's birth).

I did, however catch most of the wedding on the news the day after the big event and Miss Kate or should I call her the dutchess of Cambridge? looked beautiful. That Tiara old Queeny leant her for the day WOW WOW WOW.

I also love how they still managed to have some intimacy and privacy even with the whole world watching. Little glances at each other, Harry cute little Harry telling William that Kate had arrived and looked gorgeous, and who could forget not one but two kisses on the balcony.

Anyway, this blog post had a point, and that point was to share some wedding pictures from my wedding day just over two years ago.

Back of the dress

Best picture I could find of the whole dress

My gorgeous God daughter and I

Front of the dress

Hubby and I (and no I wasn't pregnant, he just ALWAYS puts his hand on my belly!)

Probably my favourite photo of the day

SHOES!

Hand in hand

Sneaky kisses

Trying to drop me on my head

The veil.

I could go on, but I don't want to bore you to tears. Though I would love to see your wedding day pictures as well.

All these photos are copyrighted by my photographer. I do not want to share too much information (like where abouts we got married) so I won't share her name.

A Mumma doubts herself

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Malachi has really slimmed down lately. He was 3.4kgs at birth and doubled his birth weight by 3 months.

Now he's almost 10 months and just under 9kgs (rough guess-timate I just put him on our crappy bathroom scales). I think he looks healthy but Hubby's making me doubt myself. He thinks he's really ...slim. Slim arms, skinny legs, little belly.

Malachi has 3 breastfeeds during the day and the last milk feed at night I've either been giving him breastmilk and then a formula top up, or just formula.

Last night I just gave him formula after the little pain bit me. He had dinner at 5pm, milk at 7pm and he only drank 100mls (he last had milk at 1pm). I know I cant force feed it down his throat, and he's weeing and pooing okay just what you wanted to hear right.

Hubby is somewhat suggesting that my breastmilk is dodgy and we should just switch to full time formula but I know that if I 'gave up' now while I still have milk available I would feel guilty.

GAH don't know what to do. Are we destined as parent's to always second guess and judge ourselves? I don't know what the 'right' thing to do is.

Have you had a milky's dilemma? Any advice to offer?

Monkey see, monkey do

With Easter just around the corner I've been racking my brains trying to find something for the wee little man. Being not quite 10 months old I was certain I wasn't going to be buying him chocolate, might leave that until next year.

I considered one of those little bowl, spoon, cup type sets (there's a Thomas, a Peter Rabbit, and a few other ones) but he already received a Toy Story one at Christmas.

Then I stumbled across this little cutie and knew I'd found Master M's easter gift. Meet Cadbury:

Isn't he the cutest little guy you've ever seen!? I'm thinking he and Master M will be great friends.

What are you getting your little one for Easter?

Do you do presents for Easter or stick with chocolate?

It's Britney Bitch

Yep, that's right I'm going to admit on this here little old blog that I'm loving Britney.

I bought her album the other day at JB and having been bopping away and singing out of tune ever since.

I love that her songs are catchy and nothing-ey. Just what I need to take my mind off things.

ENJOY!!