A non Valentine's day post

** Yes I know it's Valentine's day but really, it's just another day for this here little blogger **

The lovely Racheous and Nicole awarded me this I'm sure you've seen it floating around:

My requested tasks to receive this award are:

* Thank and link back to the person who gave me this award.
* Share 7 things about myself.
* Pay it forward to 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
* Contact those bloggers and tell them about the award.

 7 things about me:

1. Since having Master M I have taken to drinking all hot drinks out of my travel mugs. Not only do I get double the volume, which let's be honest who doesn't love a super sized coffee, my drink also stays hotter for longer. Win win I say.

2. I was a gymnast for 7 and a half years. I called it quits when my boobs got too big and the red witch arrived I decided to focus on high school instead.

3. I have been vegetarian for almost 10 years. I did try a chicken nugget about four years ago but the texture and all that chewing was enough to make me want to barf.

4. I always thought I'd have four kiddies two of each of course. I have since revised that back to 3 though I am yet to convince the husband about it! Ever the rational one he wants 'as many as we can afford' which is looking more like two.

5. Hubby and I met when I was 15 and he was 19 and we were working at the local Maccas together. He was my first serious boyfriend. We've been together for nearly seven years.

6. I am such a sook when it comes to creepy crawly things probably not a surprise if you knew me in real life. I duck and swerve when I'm outside so that bees, wasps, dragonflies and all those other nasties don't bite me.

7. I've turn into a cloth nappy snob loving Mumma. I feel like such a sucker when I have to use a disgustable disposable. I can't help but think I'm just throwing money down the drain.

Now I'm a bit of a loser and I don't have 15 blogs to pay it forward to so I'll just pass it on to those I love

* Cate at Keep Cate Busy

* Lauren at Ninja Tales

* The lovely Mama Bear

* Amy at Things I never knew

* Zoey at Ramblings of a wife and mama

* Amy at Love, bubs and life on our little farm

* Tamsyn at Max and Me

Wishes for your Friday

Image Credit

I wish:

* I had a tasty biscuit to dunk into my morning coffee. Heck I'd even take a muffin right about now.

* I was a super smart wizz at HTML so I could make me a new blog background, button and what not. Not really loving the look of my blog which is probably why I've been a super slack blogger of late.

* It wasn't so hard to get a childcare place! 12 month wait at a few I've rung. WTF SHIT! Staying home isn't an option as we need the money *sob*

* The most perfect super duper gorgeous affordable car is just waiting at a caryard, begging us to take it home this weekend.

What are you wishing for right now?

Any amazing plans for the weekend?

Holy Moley Man - a post for Lauren :-)

I've been a super duper slack arse blogger. I do have a few excuses reasons though:

* The young one and I made our first ever solo trip on an aeroplane together to visit the fam. It was shit average but Malachi loved seeing his Ma and Pop (hubby's Mum and Dad) and I'm missing them like crazy too!

* The boy also decided to cut his first tooth the night we got back from said holidays. We Hubby was up from midnight until 4am rocking and patting and soothing the very distressed bub.

* He also decided to catch a viral infection at the same time which saw temps hovering around the 39 degree mark. The viral infection saw the boy turn into a fresh air-atarian (as my friend Sarah called it). He went off milk, solids and water.... stressful fun times had by all.

* As a result of said fresh air-atarian diet my milk supply plummeted and I'm back popping pills like a druggie on the fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply again.

* I went and saw my GP. I love have oodles of respect for this man.

I told him I thought I was struggling with PND. I told him I saw another GP whilst he was off getting a tan while he was enjoying his holidays and she wanted to put me on Zoloft AND Xyprexa AND she wanted me to stop breastfeeding (as according to this piss ant GP there's no benefit in breast milk after 6 months).

I think poor Richie nearly fell off his chair! But any woo, we have a plan. I need to find me a psych, he'll write me a mental health plan and I'll hopefully be back on track and loving life again soon.

* I've been too busy loving everyone else's blogs that I couldn't be arsed run out of time to write my own.

I'll try not to be so slack.... promise!

Oh, I'm sorry I thought we lived in the 21st century

I'm sure by now you've seen the picture of Miranda Kerr and her little bub Flynn... no?

I think it's a  posed photo, (after all she's a model and can't be seen without makeup or ratty hair) 

but beautiful and natural none the less.

I was just checking out the picture and comments on SMH in regards to the picture Miranda Kerr released.

I am so shocked that things like:

Have some decorum, cover up.

What an exhibitionist! Is it really necessary for the general public to see this photo

THAT is GROSS. why do we have to be subjected to a picture of someone breast feeding!!!! On the opening page of the SMH website that is not what I need to be seeing! YUK.

are being said in the year 2011. (I'm sure there were more stupid things said, I couldn't read anymore)

Is anyone else sick of the stigma attached to breast feeding and breast feeding in public?

While I know that BF is hard and difficult and not for everyone I feel like we're still living in the dark ages when I read comments like this.

Breasts are for babies, not play things for males.

I love a good give away

Which is why I thought I'd mention a few lovelies that have giveaways at the moment....

Hip Little One They have a Moo said the cow giveaway where you can win a very funky sleeping bag... I want ;)

Amy is giving away a $60 quickflix voucher. I love the idea of this. No late fees, return the movies when you're ready. My baby is so unpredictable that I can't guarantee I'll watch a movie when I hire it. This fixes that problem. I would enter myself but I'll be away (and without the internet) when she draws the winner.

The Dalli Cottage is giving one one very gorgeous 'shabby chich' apron.

Hip Little One are also giving away a playon crayon set thanks to giggle and grow.

So head on over and check out these blogs. Some very cool things up for grabs.

Feeling like shit

I've been feeling down lately and just not loving life.

Things are getting on top of me and I'm snapping over the silliest things.

I have no support network here.

My mother's group is falling apart and my marriage is slowly turning to shit.

I think I have PND and I feel like shit. I feel like a failure.

I've already been through depression, anxiety and PTSD in my teens and now this.

I just took that depression test on beyond blue and scored 20. I don't want to go through this again.

I feel stupid. I don't want to go to the GP and be told I'm failing.

I called hubby today and said I felt sad for no reason. I hate life at the moment and he didn't help at all.

Im sick of my baby crying and whinging.

I guess him only sleeping for an hour out of 12 will do that to a Mum.

I've been so grumpy and I even yelled at him.

Hubby was with me when I went through the depression and everything before and I don't know whether he could handle it again.

I know I need to get help. Thought of self harm are coming back and I don't know what to do.

SHIT!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was my thinking yesterday. It's not quite as bad today.

The beautiful Amy wrote some very kind words to me. 

It was a kick in the arse and I've gotten the ball rolling.

I made an appointment with a new GP, as mine is away.

I rang work and asked if I could return earlier and also just one day a week at the moment.

My manager, who is a twit, is more than willing to accomodate me.

And for that I'm so very grateful.

I rang and spoke to someone from PANDA who was so kind and a massive help. She emailed me contact details for a few psychologists and spoke about getting a mental health plan in place.

I know I have a long way to go.

But I have everything crossed that I will win.

I will beat this.

I know I will.

So forgive my lack of blogging.

I've got to get myself happy and healthy again.

Paying it forward baby

EEKKKK deep breath.....here goes nothing.......

Cate from Keep Cate Busy has taken up the pay-it-forward challenge (from LJ at with my own two hands)...and *I* have taken up the challenge from Cate... with me so far??

"I promise something handmade to the FIRST 5 people who leave a comment here.
However, to be eligible, you must repost this message, offering something handmade to 5 other people. The rules are that it must be handmade by you, and it must be sent to your 5 giftees sometime in 2011. Ready, set, GO!"

Please don't be intimidated by this idea...I'm craftily challenged - but I will do my best. The 5 recipients will receive something that will genuinely be made with love and care...that much I can promise.

I'm unsure what it will be at this stage, at least I have 11 and a half months to think and make. This should keep me occupied for the year 2011.

I'm nervous. Oh boy am I nervous!! I can't even sew on a button.

But I'm taking up the challenge...... who's with me?? If you are just leave a comment with the URL address of you paying it forward.