Cry Baby Cry

Yesterday we went and got M's needles done and it was bloody awful. Poor little guy had one in his thigh *cue screams and screams* then calms done a little then he got the other one in his thigh and went hysterical!!!! I was sitting in the room next door when it happened (was too much of a sook to hold him when he had them done). When we got home I took off his bandaids and gave him a dose of panadol and and he was all smiles as I was taking his bandaids off! Crazy boy.

He was measured and weighed again and has put on around 250gr in just over a week and is now 61cm tall!! No wonder some of his clothes look a little short!! He'll be in 00 in no time! He's lost one cm in his head circumference HAHA shows it depends who measures etc as we went to a different doctor and nurse this time. The doctor was a nut who told me I need iron as i look pale (code word for you look like shit lady!!) Gee way to make a new mum feel good.

My good little boy was still self settling (putting himself to sleep from awake without his dummy and without us patting, rocking etc) yesterday evening and overnight even after his needles, bless him! Mind you he is SOOOOOO noisy and constant in his protest grunts. I was tempted in the middle of the night to put him in his room so I didn’t have to hear him!! But he only woke once at around 130am and then after close to an hour of listening to the grunting I put a pillow over my head to try and get some sleep. I woke at around 630ish to little kicks in the back, turns out Hubby had had enough of the grunting and put M in the bed to get him to hush it!! What a lovely way to wake up, little kicks and BIG smiles.

He's still his smiling self so I think the worst of the effects of the immunisations is over. Though he had that rotovirus drink which means we need to be super careful when changing him for the next week or so so we don't get vomitting and diahhorea. I have mastitis and am on antibiotics (again) so that and the rotovirus drink means he's pooing like crazy. We've started calling him Stinky Pete (from Toy Story) because he smells so bad.

I start 'new parent group' September the 14th. It's weekly for 5 weeks with the maternal and child health nurse, and then after that you can keep the mother's group up and running by swapping numbers and organising the catch up ourselves (if that makes sense?)

I decided to dye my hair a darker colour as I thought the blonde made me look pale and pasty (obviously the Doctor still thinks I look pale even with dark hair). I got a full fringe too, but not sure I love the fringe. It's a fair bit of work to get it straight and I'm not used to having something on my face. Oh well it's something a bit different for a while.

I have found a new website that I LOVE the book depository cheap books :-) I bought 2 books from Big W today but I'm going to have to take them back as they were cheaper on this website.... and free shipping, got to love that. If only I was organised I could have bought Hubby's father's day present from there. Oh well I bought him two books from there, they'll just arrive after Father's Day. I had to restrain myself otherwise I could have bought MANY MANY books. Might have to leave my wish list out and hope Santa sees it :-)

Oh baby!!

Image from here

Two posts in a week *GASP* I can't believe it!! I thought I better do something while the little guy protests sleep... again!

I thought I was on to something this morning. It only took 15 minutes to get him to sleep with just the dummy. Sometimes its dummy and rocking but not this morning. I did a little happy dance and then of course, I jinxed myself by texting Hubby about it. He woke after just one sleep cycle and the other sleep of the day has been CRAP!!

He is currently in his basket having a whinge about sleeping, even though clearly he is tired. GAH! Babies I tells you. I am at my wits end with the unpredictability that a baby brings. So I had heard many people talk about Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall so I borrowed it from a friend and read most of the relevant things last night. Three words - What a Nutter!! I was annoyed at her after oh I don't know 20 pages? Does this lady even have a degree in anything baby? I read the author's note at the beginning of the book and she claims she's been a baby whisperer since 9!? Yeah okay.

She also says feeding your baby everytime they cry will mean he'll be an emotional eater when he's older. UMMM sure okay. I'd like to think that if my baby isn't hungry he won't eat. And I have noticed that if he isn't hungry he'll just pull on and off the boob. Cue me trying to find another solution to the crying. I'd also like to think that I'm smart enough to know that if it's only been an hour after his last feed he's probably not hungry and perhaps it might be something else wrong with him.

So now that I've crossed this book off my list of books not to adhere to I'm stuck as to what to try next. You hear so many good and bad things about different routines it's hard to know where to begin. I have heard of babywise and no cry sleep solution but don't want to fork out the money to read these books incase it's not what I want to follow. I think it might be time to get a library card so I can start borrowing books. Old school hey!? Can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library.

In better news, I think he's asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No dummy and no crying he just moaned and grunted a little and is now (fingers crossed I don't jinx myself) ASLEEP!! Oh thank goodness. Let's hope he lasts more than one sleep cycle. One can dream right!?

Now off to tidy the house.

Parenting Choices

Image from here

I was going to write this post yesterday but we had a pretty crappy day. A certian baby of mine decided sleep was for the weak and only slept maybe 2ish hours (and not all at once) between 7am and 8pm. I felt like all I did yesterday was try and get him to sleep, with obviously limited success. I even went to the mall and met some friends and drank coffee over his head while he was in the sling. **Gasp** what a bad Mummy. Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to ramble on about I was going to talk about people's need to offer advice.

Before I had a baby I heard from other Mummies about (mostly) well meaning people trying to help out and give advice. I too have found that since having a baby everyone loves to give you their two cents worth. It doesn't matter that they had a child 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago they'll still dish out the advice whether you ask for it or not. I find it so hard sometimes to just smile and suck it up and listen to them bash on about breastfeeding/using a dummy/cloth nappies/co sleeping etc or whatever it is they feel like going on about. So this is my advice to those people:

Please stop!! No I do not care that you never used a dummy, had a perfect angel child who slept for long periods in their cot, breastfed for a gazillion months etc. You telling me these things do not help me. I am doing the best I can for MY child and for the moment that involves using a dummy and letting him snuggle up to me in our bed at 2am in the morning when I am sick of hearing his noisy grunts. If you don't like it, I DON'T CARE!! You did not carry this baby in your womb for 9 months and then labour for 22 hours and push him out of you! He is my baby and I will do what works for me.

If you want to help I have stacks of washing that needs folding and I can't remember the last time my floors have seen a mop.

That is all.... carry on!!!

I'm in Love

with Made It. I have seen so many ridiculously uber cute things on there. A few things have caught my eye such as:

This Alice in Wonderland wallet. Though you can have it made in other fabric.

I would love a Toy Story or Peter Pan one (Nerd much??)

(You can get it from here)

these beautiful little shoes (by Zoey)

Though I'm not sure Malachi is too keen on the colour being a boy and all

This little print which I think will go well in Malachi's jungle themed nursery

Love the idea of hanging this somewhere in his room as well.

Except of course it won't be a H and won't say Harvey. Hoping for a letter M with Malachi on it.

This gorgeous wall hanging is from Wall Fry

Now to convince my lovely generous handsome hubby to let me buy them (all). Hoping a little bit of sucking up goes a long way :-)

Things I've Learnt

* Babies are hard work! And in the beginnning really don't give that much back, except for lots of poo. But I don't really think that counts.

* Being a mother does not mean you are perfect. There are times when M is being a pain in the back side and I am getting frustrated that I lose my temper and feel very disappointed in myself. Motherhood and mothering is a learning process and even though I'm only 6 weeks into this gig I'd like to think I'm doing okay, and even great some days.

* Malachi loves Kate Miller-Heidke! I used to play her when he was in my belly and his love for her continues. We dance around to Can't Shake It and he smiles as Mummy sings out of tune. I've tried to capture his smile on camera but he's a little camera shy it seems. I will capture that smile, when you least expect it Boy-o!!

* Fresh air everyday really does make a difference. We went outside yesterday while I had breakfast, and it makes me feel alive and invigorated. Pity it's all rainy here today so we haven't gotten our daily dose of vitamin D today. There is always tomorrow

* A mantra really does help. When we are having a crappy day I have taken to saying "This too shall pass". Certainly helps me get through the day and nights when he won't settle

* Chocolate helps too, especially my new favourite Cadbury Coconut Rough (I think that's what it's called). Or my old favourite peppermint certainly is a winner as well

* The bouncer is my friend. M loves it and will (80% of the time) settle himself to sleep in it during the day.

* Having a hobby is a productive way to let out creative vibes. I am going to be the size of a house if I keep spending my spare time baking, so I've decided to try my hand at scrapbooking. And if that doesn't work or I get bored I can always do a mammoth jigsaw puzzle. That'll keep me entertained for a while

* It's great having friends who are Mummies as well. I have sent heaps of text messages to my friends when I've been stressed, happy or sad and they are always there, willing to listen and give advice. Much love to them :-)

Feeling Shitty

Okay here goes, and I apologise it might seem a bit disjointed.

Master M is just over a month old and in the beginning things were going well. I had DH at home for just under 3 weeks so we were sharing the load, he was helping with the nappies, getting bubs to sleep etc.
Ever since he's been back at work things have been hard. M won't settle at times and just keeps crying and grunting. This morning he was awake at 615 just as DH was getting up and getting ready for work. I asked him to change him before he left but he didn't (he doesn't have a set start time at work, so changing a nappy wouldn't have made him late at all) . This morning M had been awake for over 4 hours and nothing I could do would get him to sleep. It got to a point that I yelled at him to shut up as I'd had enough.

I feel like such a bad Mum as I'm really not enjoying motherhood. I thought I'd love being a mother, and love being at home with my boy, but the truth is I really don't like it. I'm jealous of DH getting up and going to work. I want to go to work, I want 5 minutes without the baby. I want a few minutes without having him attached to me and having him needing me.
I'm just so sad at the moment and getting so frustrated at my baby. I also feel like I've brought this upon myself as I was the one wanting to have a baby so early and not DH.