Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Winter Blues

Well that's what I've decided to call it anyway. I have been lacking enthusiasm lately to sit down and update my blog. I'm not really sure why, considering I'm on maternity leave now and have some free time on my hands. I think it's all starting to get a little bit too much. My brain is hurting.
People keep asking me if I'm getting nervous or scared about labour and I honestly thought I was doing quite well. I am about half way through Juju Sundin and Sarah Murdoch's 'Birth Skills' book and like the concepts they talk about in the book. Like I said in a previous post I'm not stupid enough to think labour will be 'fun' and an easy task to accomplish. But at the end of the day the baby has to get out some how and it's up to me to get it out! But the more people ask me about it the more I start to doubt myself. I'm sure their intentions are good but it's putting all this pressure on me and really freaking me out.

I thought I'd try and get 'organised' and do some things to aid in the labour process. I had read about raspberry leaf tea and will get some of that from the healthfood store this weekend. I did also hear some mummas mention perineal massage. So thought I'd google it. And holy crap, I really wish I didn't! It's actually scared me a little about the labour process. I really really don't want to tear and understand that the massage may help this. But just reading it nearly had me hyperventilating. Now I'm unsure whether I should try it or maybe just do everything I can to avoid a tear (birth upright, avoid the epidural so I can feel when to push etc) I have no idea why it freaked me out so much. I did read it that perineal massage hurts and burns etc. Maybe that's whats scared me.

I had my midwife appointment last week. Bub's is head down and heading towards the light! Still not engaged yet but early days I know. I also had a breastfeeding class last week. It's nice to know what the 'ideal' breastfeeding experience should be (demand feeding as baby requires, at least for the first 6 weeks, at least 8 feeds a day etc). I'm just going in with an open mind and really hope I can breastfeed. I know it's best for bub's but at the end of the day my motto is healthy happy mum= healthy happy baby. It's definetly more involved than I thought. Not just put baby on the boob and all will be okay. It's definetly something I want to succeed at but understand that formula is not poision and if worse comes to worse I will formula feed bubs. I'm just hoping to breastfeed because the thought of sterilising bottles is not very appealing!
Well better go tidy up the place. I feel like since I'm on maternity leave now it's more my responsibility to have the house clean, have dinner cooked etc. I'm sure it's just my perception as hubby has said nothing of the sort. But I feel like if I do just have a 'relax' day and he comes home and it's not perfect than it's my fault, I'm not doing my 'job' as a wife. Silly I know. But that's my brain at the moment.

Belly Pics 

33 Weeks

33 Weeks


34 Weeks


34 Weeks



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