Dear Squirt

Dear Cute Little Baby

I'm sure it's not fun being all squished and cramped in my belly. But it's no fun for Mummy either when you kick her in the ribs..... constantly..... especially at night, when I'm trying to get to sleep.

If you could please find a new comfy position (and possibly even start to engage) Mummy would most appreciate it.

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Well I can't believe it but I can finally say I'm full term. Today (Tuesday) we're 37 + 2 and besides the constant rib kicks I spoke about above we are travelling along okay. I'm not sure whether it's because I'm on maternity leave and slowly going crazy but I have been super sad lately. I can't say I miss work, but there are certainly people there I miss, and I miss the adult conversation that goes along with working.

It's so hard being in a city where you don't really have too many friends. One of my friends is heavily pregnant and works Monday - Friday so of course she's busy hanging with her family on the weekend. I have two other friends who are pregnant and I am off to have coffee with this afternoon but I just miss some of my QLD friends.

The little fight I had with my sister the other night didn't help either. I know I should probably put in more effort but it's hard because they are just so different to me. I don't approve of their choices and frankly don't want to hear about it.... so what do you talk about then? The weather?

My family seem to think they can treat me like crap and I'll keep putting up with it. I guess I'm at that stage in life where I am trying to find my place in the world and thinking about what values I want to instill in our children and what I want our family to turn out like.

If my friends treated me the way my family has done in the past there is no way they would still be in my life. So why do I have to put up with it from my family??

Family

I have been thinking a lot about family lately. Pretty hard not to since we are preparing to meet the littlest member of our family. I have never been close to my family. I have very little in common with them so I feel like I don't want to talk to them.

One of my sisters 'T' doesn't have a job and spends her weekends drinking with friends, starting at 10am sometimes. Yet she says she can't come down when our baby is born because she has no money. She also texts my husband A LOT and even asked him to keep something from me once. When hubby told me this I was furious. Who texts their brother in law and asks them to lie to their wife? My sister of course!

I am so ready to punch T in the head (bit hard when we live interstate but you know what I mean). She keeps calling the baby 'he' and I just cracked it last night. Silly I know but I asked her nicely just to call it 'baby' or 'bubs' or 'Squirt' (since we aren't 100% convinced bub's is a boy and we've kept baby's sex a surprise from everyone) and she still insists on asking 'how her nephew is'. The other week she called and said she ran into a guy we went to school with and she pretended to be me. When I cracked it at her she said I should calm down and it wasn't a big deal. I actually think it is. Besdies the fact that we are nothing alike and she would have down nothing for my reputation I don't think lying to someone is funny.
 
My other sister 'A' is 15 and pregnant, and oh so excited about it too. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept that babies are hard work and she won't be able to go out and party with her friend's when the baby is born. She fell pregnant to some idiot at a party. Of course they aren't together anymore, it was just a one night stand after all.
 
My mum is excited about my baby but not to the extent she is with my other sister and honestly it doesn't bother me. She texts me sometimes to ask how we're going but generally just doesn't give a damn. She said she's coming down when bubs is born but she hasn't been down in the 4 years or so we've lived here so I won't hold my breath.
 
It's so hard because I want to want them in my life but I so don't need the drama and attitude I cop when I do speak to them. Hmmm, what should I do??