Beth's Method

So the witch arrived :( And I wasn't as disappointed as I was last cycle. I never would have imagine it would take a healthy 21yr old this long to fall pregnant. DH always thought we'd fall 1st cycle and that was why he wanted to delay trying for a baby for a few months. I always knew it could take up to a year and it's just really getting the better of me emotionally.

My darling husband was so upset when I told him we weren't pregnant... he said 'i never thought i'd be so disappointed'. It really broke my heart to hear him say that. Honestly I don't know what more we could have possibly done. We BD'd every frickin day in the lead up to O day. Far out. Cycle 4 here we come!

I've decided this month we will take it easy with the babymaking. We won't check my temperature at the same time each morning, we won't track cervical mucous. I don't even know what cycle day I am.

I've decided to do this for a few reasons:

1. We are off to New Zealand on Thursday & I didn't really want to take my thermometer over there. And I won't have access to the internet to plug my temperatures into Fertility Friend so there honestly is no point carrying around a piece of paper with temperatures written on them.

2. A friend of mine Beth is of the opinion that if we take it easy and just baby dance whenever we might just fluke a pregnany! Well we've tracked temperatures, and checked CM and babydanced when it was meant to be the fertile time and prayed to whoever was listening that we are ready to start our family and we've had no luck. So we'll try Beth's method and see what happens. It can't hurt after all.

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

I honestly hate the two week wait (TWW). Every twinge and pain is magnified and I honestly feel like I can't do anything to improve our chances of creating a miracle. We made love at the 'right' times and I even laid with my legs in the air and a pillow under my bum just so the little spermie swimmers could get a helping hand in finding the egg. I have been trying to stay positive and let the universe know 'that we are ready and willing to accept a child into our lives'. But oh it's so hard sometimes.

I've been trying to keep busy this last week or so (I'm 10 days past ovulation and desperately trying to restrain myself from testing until AF is a week late..... so only 11 days to go) but it's so hard. I have had immense back ache for the last 5 days or so (thank God for wheat packs) and this morning I got the highest ever temperature in the 3 months we've been trying to conceive. These things coupled with the fact that I feel off in the stomach gets my hopes up that we are pregnant.

But last cycle I had myself convinced that we were pregnant and we know how that ended. My dreams were crushed and I was crying like a sissy girl.

BLAH!!! The dreaded TWW! Oh how I hate you. I have my fingers crossed that we've timed our baby making sessions right, that sperm met egg and that there is a little bubba being made as we speak.

Hello World, This is Me!

Making : a trip to the shopping centre today to return some clothes.
Cooking : Not much tonight, as it's grocery week and we're running out of essentials.
Drinking : Caffeine free rosehip & hibiscus tea.
Reading : Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.
Wanting : Some inspiration for my hair before I see my lovely hairdresser.
Looking : like I just got out of bed. Bedhair and all.
Playing : with the idea of a family of three.
Wasting : my morning away by chilling in front of the computer.
Sewing : Me? Sew? I don't think so. I can't even sew a button back on to my clothes.
Wishing : That my husband didn't work such crazy long hours.
Enjoying : The silence that is filling my house.
Waiting : for my hairdressers appointment this afternoon.
Liking : decaf black coffee with half a teaspoon of equal... I'm in love!
Wondering : If we'll enjoy our New Zealand trip in a fortnight.
Loving : My job. Yes it's crap at times but I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life.
Marvelling : at how beautiful the day is here in Canberra.
Needing : A massage. My back is full of knots.
Smelling : The beautiful smell of my herbal tea.
Wearing : My pj's and dressing gown... oh the life!
Following : Forums and Blogs. When I have internet hours anyway.
Noticing : How fantastic my life is at the moment
Knowing : That one day we will be a family of 3 (or 4 or 5)
Thinking : I should probably shower and get ready to shop
Bookmarking : Fantastic blogs that I love to read.
Opening : My mind to the universe and letting it know that we are ready to accept a child into our family.
Giggling : At how utterly tired I feel. I almost feel hungover.
Feeling : Pretty damn good!!!

Duty of Care

I love being a nurse. I love the fact that what I do makes a difference to patients and their families. I love not sitting at a desk all day. I love chatting to people. But today I didn't like being a nurse.

We were understaffed and without a manager. We had no wardsupport officer and were also down one nurse. I don't mind when the ward is busy & you're flat out. But when patient care begins to suffer that's when mistakes occur.

I left my shift at 330 feeling like a lot of things weren't done and my patient's did not get the care they deserve. 4 patient's didn't have their blood pressures taken, 1 lady doesn't have a callbell to press for the nurse when needed & one didn't get a shower.

At uni we were taught about duty of care and that at the end of the day I as a registered nurse am responsible for those 4 (or 5 or 6 depending on staff numbers) patient's. But when you're fighting the odds, and are 3 staff down and have done all that you can, is that good enough? At the end of the day it's my registration on the line if (God-forbid) anything were to go wrong.

In a perfect world we would never be shortstaffed. But with an aging workforce & nurses that are exhausted and nurses that are quitting left right and centre, I don't see the nurse shortage getting better anytime soon.
What can we do to ensure patient's are getting the care they deserve?

It's Tuesday and I can't wait....

for so many things... here goes:

I cant wait for this head cold to go away. I have been drinking awful lemon ginger tea in the hopes that it would help. And even rubbing vicks on my chest. The smell of vicks reminds me of my childhood.

I can't wait for spring, it's such a lovely time of year. It will make getting up at 530am that much more bearable.

And lastly, I can't wait until our New Zealand trip on September 3rd, God we need a holiday!

if you want to join in head on over to buttonsbyloulou and put your link in her linky machine.

Oh Cruel World

Dear Universe,
You know how much DH and I ache for children, but instead of our own precious bubba we get a phone call saying DH's brother and his wife are expecting again. Thanks for the slap in the face.
Now don't get me wrong, we love DH's brother & his wife but seriously!? They are due right when we would have been due if AF hadn't of reared her ugly head. I think you're being very cruel. All I ask is that you please bless us with our own bubba very soon.


I think it's times like these that I need to remember this little picture below:

AF - The Most Wicked Witch Of Them All

So it was this time last week that my heart was broken. AF aka Aunt Flo aka my period arrived. Now to most females that's probably no big deal. We all get them right? But when you're on the trying to conceive rollercoaster AF is the last thing you want to see!

Last cycle I had everything crossed, praying to someone that we would be blessed with a pregnancy. It would have been perfect. We would have been due very close to what would have been my Nan's 90th birthday. Surely the universe would be kind and bless us with a pregnancy? Surely you can't break someone's heart when everything seems so perfect? Yeah Right!?

When AF arrived I was heartbroken, devestated, shattered. I cried like a sissy girl to my poor husband. 'Life sucks, it's just not fair' I cried. Im a young somewhat fit 21 year old. Surely 2 months is long enough to fall pregnant I thought. Now I know the literature says it can take up to 6 months for a young healthy couple to fall pregnant but BLAH BLAH BLAH. I couldn't help but feel saddened that it wasn't meant to be.

Well it's onwards and upwards from here. My poor darling husband is not going to know what's hit him. I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off him. We will fall pregnant this month. I don't want AF visiting ever again. Well, for at least 40 weeks or so.